wrong cruise manifesto

BIRTHDAY BOO BOO'S

2007-10-17T21:44:00.000-07:00

matutuwa ka ba kung tapos na ang 1/3 ng buhay mo?

"the average life-expectancy among filipino men is 79 years old" - NSO 2003

WHAAAA! ibig sabihin halos dalawang 27 years na lang ang itatagal ng katawang lupa ko! dalawang mabilis na 27 years... katakot! dapat gawin na lahat ng pwede gawin!

27 oct 15's na pinag daanan ko..
23 lang dun ang naaalala ko..
halos lahat dun umuulan .. baka daw may lahi akong engkato sabi nung classmante ko nung hi-skul

nung bata ako lagi ako excited mag bday, kasi may spaghetti, fried chicken, diluted orange juice, goldilocks cake na may nakasulat na "happy birthday ron-ron" pero mas malaki yung font size ng "FROM YOUR NINANG _____!"

pero habang tumatanda ka, di ka na mae-excite.. hihiritan ka kasing mag libre at magpainom, all of a sudden, lahat sila close friends mo! kaya mas gugustuhin ko na lang mag tago sa likod ng gasul buong maghapon!

dati, ang alam ko, ikaw ang iti-treat ng mga kaibigan pag birthday mo, hindi pala ganun, dahil may mga kaibigan, na nang-lilimas ng bulsa at walang pakundangang nagkakamal ng sweldo mo para i-refill ang bahay-alak at pakainin ang mga bulate nila sa tyan.. habang buong gabi ipinaaalala nila sayo na tumatanda ka na at at paubos na ng paubos ang natitira mong oras sa mundong ibabaw! ANG SAYA NO?! shet

sa loob ng 27 years, maraming kakaiba, nakakatuwa at nakakatawang regalo ang natanggap ko.. eto ang top 10:

10...photo album at picture frame, na may flower sa sulok (itaas ang kamay ng hindi nakatanggap nito!)

9....panyo, hindi to nawawala.. napaka 'unique' (bukod pa yung pag pasko)

8....snake and ladder, chessboard at yung gameboard na free sa ovaltine (effort!)

7....sand clock, errr!

6....avon na lotion (hindi ko alam kung aanuhin ko yun nung 10 years old ako)

5....last year's planner.. pero at least nagamit ko parin. scratch paper!

4....stickers... hindi voltron, hindi voltesV, hindi thunder cats at hindi transfomers ..HELLO KITTY!

3....cassette tape ni LALA AUNOR.. WHO THE... ni hindi ko nga alam kung pilipino nga ba yun

2....teks, isang bundle ng maliliit na cards na may mga eksena ng nardong putik at panday (1987)

AND THE TOP:

1....DIORAMA! eto yung science project nung elementary kami, yung naka lagay sa kahon ng sapatos na binalot ng plastic cover. May eksena sa loob gamit ang samut-saring toy figures na libre sa CHEESCARS (chichirya), isama mo na ang lupa at plastic na dahon ng xmas tree ... ang sweet diba? hindi ko naman masabing "OKEY KA LANG? E MAS MAGANDA PA NGA GAWA KO DITO E!" pero shempre di ko sasabihin yun, at least naalala nya ko!

nagkita ulit kami sa friendster nung classmate kong nagbigay nun, hindi na nya maalala na niregaluhan nya ako! or, baka nagdedeny lang!

itong taon na 'to hindi ko masyado naramdaman ang OCT 15, maraming nakaalala (SALAMAT SA INYO!) meron din naman na inaasahang maka-alala pero dedma.. mag isa lang ako maghapon, di kasi ako pumasok, magdamag din ako nanood ng shaider at bioman sa youtube.. tsaka natulog!

at syempre umuulan na naman. WHAT'S NEW?!

HAAAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

HABERDEY!

2007-10-12T20:55:00.000-07:00

For 26 years the sky's always lamenting on the second week of October, that's YEAR-AFTER-YEAR-AFTER-YEAR, well probably it's just adjusting with my mood, you know ... birthday blues

I was thinking, how am I going to celebrate my birthday this year? well, not really celebrate-CELEBRATE because I'm not really the bloke who's extravagant towards anything or something egocentric, specially if I'm the one burning credit cards, I've never really tried having a huge bash just to remind everyone that I'm another year older... (pakshet!)... the last time a blew a candle was in 1987... GREAT i was just 2 years old then (whatevz)

So after two decades of spending a sad and lonely Oct 15's, I was thinking of doing it differently this time...

Perhaps I'll climb a mountain... Kota Kinabalu (the highest peak in south east asia!) is the perfect choice. Unfortunately, when I checked the mountain cabins, they're all packed. Apparently you have to do the reservation six months ahead of time. So maybe next year.

or... Getting lost outside Manila, ALONE. That would be quite an adventure, I will buy the next ticket bound to who-knows-where and Im going to spend the weekend alone trying to be a nomad with just a backpack and a heap of guts, pretendin Im a contestant of the Amazing Race. That would be so effing great...and expensive (dang!)

How about a Jolli-Birthday? yeah, as in Jolibee party complete with party hats, mascots and ketchup-y spaghetti. That was my dream party that was never realized, so I will make it happen this time. That would be F-U-N. All attendees will be grown-ups and we will be playing silly games like kids and make Hetty (the spaghetti mascot) dance a strip tease! WOoot-woow!

hmmm... That would be FFFFERFECT!

But for now, I know y'all been thinking of possible gifts (FOR ME OPKORS!) so fret no more, because here's my WISH LIST:

1. Jacket (preferably Nike)
2. pair of black socks
3. nike air turbulence (white)
4. lip balm (no fruity flavor please)
5. iPod nano (redesigned with video)
6. photoshop installer (pirated)
7. wooden rosary
8. signed photograph of manny paquiao
9. lacoste perfume (green)
10. a tray of ferrero rocher
11. a good massage
12. starbucks stainless tumbler
13. boxer shorts (small-medium)
14. havaianas (size 39-40)
15. moroccan mint tea bags (coffee bean & tea leaf)
16. a birthday card (with 1k pesos inside)
17. a beach towel
18. advil capsules/gel capsules
19. nike cap
20. WORLD PEACE!

Please coordinate, just to make sure na walang madodoble...
HAHAHAHA

Here Yeah!

Desperate Houswives Insults Filipinos

2007-10-02T20:45:00.000-07:00

In the Premiere of Desperate Housewives Teri Hatcher made a remark about Filipinos. She was talking to her doctor and then she said

"Okay, before we go any further, can I check those diplomas? Coz I would just like to make sure they are not from some med school in the Philippines."

I dont know if I have the onion skin syndrome but

THIS IS SO WRONG!

GAGO BA SILA?!
That remark was unnecessary and the scriptwriter should have been a little careful. They bulldozed an entire workforce of Filipinos in the health care career. and teri hatcher is a popular figure, so she should also be responsible enough to refuse delivering such lines.

I hope that when they need medical care, they end up being taken cared of by a Filipino nurse

so calling all Filipino nurses and doctors in the US, whenever you encounter the name MARC CHERRY (he's the episode writer) Use the largest gauge of syringe and don't use any anesthesia (when necessary)

A group of Filipino Americans demands for apology
from ABC and Desperate Housewives writers
through a signature campaign!

SIGN UP HERE

ZAIDO and the galactic shit

2007-09-26T07:15:00.000-07:00

I'm an open true -blue Shaider fanatic. This show has been responsible in making the building blocks of my formative years.

That's the reason why I'm so ecstatic when GMA decided to do a remake. Well, my excitement shrank into an indiscernible form of matter when I saw the premiere. The show turned out to be a cheap rip-off. A total eye sore:

Here's why:

- I agree with my friend Jun, I hate the costume especially the helmet, it's like a cheap-robocop-wannabe-cum-highschool-project went wrong.

- The plot wasn't really well thought of, they did not even explain HOW and WHY on earth did lei'ar came back from what should've been his inexorable death two decades ago.

- Shaider fought evil galactic forces during the 80's (in fact, that's the setting of the series) suddenly he has descendants? Gallian, played by Dennis Trillo, happens to be the grandson of Alexis (WTF?). I'm expecting that this should be atleast explained with some sort of mystical cosmic blackhole intervening the galaxy and .. uhmm.. whatevs!

- The special effects made me wanna puke in front of the TV, the 1980's version is far better. On top of that, the new Kuuma Lei'ar looks familiar... reminds me of ANAK NI JANICE!

- Alexis has a pretty side kick, named Annie. This time its Gallian and the sexy sidekick - AMY... mind you, they're both wearing yellow and their families were victims of the galactic war. WOW, a truly moronic television coincidence.

- And because its Filipino made (kapuso particularly) then expect that the story line is 5% action, 10% has a poverty-prinsipyo element and 85% love story, total of ... 100% CHEESINESS. I mean, the original did not even focus on the Annie-Alexis love flick. What are they trying to do?

I can't believe I withstood the 1 hour pilot episode, I almost had an epileptic attack. GMA is making the legend look trashy by literally shitting on it.
I just hope that there will be an Anti-ZAIDO rally soon blocking the senate building or marching across EDSA.

But there's one commendable thing. Paolo Ballesteros is sooooo pretty as Ida. I bet its a dream come true! (good thing they dropped the disco ball head dress)

GREY'S ANATOMY SEASON 4 : up and running

2007-09-20T00:30:00.000-07:00

Finally... After the longest wait and what seemed to be like eons and light years of anticipation, the new seasons of TV shows are finally here, up to heat both my iPod and PC.

On top of it, GREY'S ANATOMY is back!!!
What will happen to these pack of adulterous medical people? (obviously I can relate... not just because I'm in this field, but also, I'm an adulterous bloke)

Last summer, the season finale left me hanging in the middle of nowhere and my jaw dangling loosely. so from that point, I'm like a cryoprecipitate waiting for an order, an absolution.

Until I saw this preview, and I'm like a little boy staring at my wrapped presents under the Christmas tree. While watching it, all my vessels were dilated and my cardiac contraction felt like it's in suspended animation, afferent nerve endings ceased functioning and neuron conduction's in split second delay.

WOW I just love how they pull that premiere...
Izzie, Meredith, Karev and the scrupulous Christina yang (my favorite character) delivered the ripped rules of Dr. Bailey from the first episode of the show (back when they are in the bottom of the medical food chain), this time it's their turn, and it is so amazing to see fresh new faces ... simply genius!

I AM SO effing EXCITED
SERIOUSLY!

You can download some of my favorite music from the series, for free.
CLICK AWAY!

green me

2007-09-03T22:13:00.000-07:00

I have a goal to grab before I turn 30 and who told you I'm more than 30? fuck you! It's a long to do list I tell you, but here's a portion:

-have a wood laminated graduation picture (check!)
-get that PRC ID (check!)
-write a personal hate letter to willie revillame (check!)
-do a medical mission to a far flung community, at mag feeling turista (check!)
-for gawd sake! do something good to the environment (CHECK!)

YES, I just did!

Yesterday I went-out to do some tree planting eklat for the La Mesa Watershed. It might sound a bit pageant patty and little like a government official during the election season, but my intentions are genuine and environmentally altruistic. Also, I just want to do something different because "I... personally believe that we are unable to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don't have uh, I believe that our, I, education like such as, uhh, South Africa, and uh, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us...(???)... thank you!" (if you don't know what I'm talking about... click away)

I don't have a green thumb, everything that I planted on the soil died in just a matter of days. I remember having this science project in elementary where we have to grow Toge from mongo beans... after few days, all my classmates' canisters have something sprouting out of their lump of dirt. Mine? other than the nasty smell of what seemed to be like a rotten kamote, got nothing on it. (I don't know if someone played a prank on me)

Since then, I never attempted growing anything green.

But when you reach my age (20 something), you will eventually come realize that life is more than just about yourself, you have a social responsibility. With an equivocal threat of global warming, you will then find-out that you can help and you should do your part in saving our niche.

So enough of being a health freak, stop eating green leafy veggies, your hurting them, listen closely... you will hear them cry whenever you eat Caesar salad!

SEPTEMBER 3, 2007

ako: pucha! malayo pa ba? tangna... tatlong kilometro na yun a!
ako (isip) : ok lang mag lakad... pero di ok pag nasira sapatos ko!
ako: tree planting ba to o alay lakad?
AKO DIN: DAMI MO ANGAL
ako: e kasi naman o...

forester : deforestation is a social issue ....
ako : deforestation your face, wala ba makakainan dito?
AKO DIN : SHHHH!
forester : you will be planting a banaba tree
ako : ano yun? as in banaba? diuretic alternative to edematous or suspected cardiac congestion? Lagerstroemia speciosa aka Giant Crape-myrtle or Queen's Crape-myrtle? endemic to south east Asian forest like of Thailand, India, Indonesia, Philippines and some parts of eastern India?
AKO DIN : AVER ... WINNER!
ako : wala bang maple or ebony?

ako : teka picture muna
--after 34 mins--
ako : last picture na peksman!
AKO DIN : GRABE, 30 SECONDS OF PLANTING, 30MINS OF PICTORIAL

--uwian na--
ako : mag pahuli kaya ako? para may moment
AKO DIN : WAG BAKA MAY NPA
ako : OA mo ha

--after 45mins of walking--
ako : shyet! parang di tayo dumaan dito kanina a!
ako : uhhm, guys? nasan na kayo?
AKO DIN : PATAY! LAGOT NA!

to see more of my tree planting-eklat photos click away!

for more info on how you can help save our forest, please contact BANTAY KALIKASAN at 1-800-527-2820 (foundation@abs-cbni.com) or contact the La Mesa Ecopark at 410 9670

If you think this is just a piece of shit, then go home nibble on your toe nails and wait until you die a miserable death of indifference!

the coconutter

2007-08-29T14:46:00.000-07:00

I am a nurse, and all I want to do is to escape this mediocre life, I am always thinking that I am a victim of random fate when I was born, Why here? why not timbuktu or some hillbilly island in the mid atlantic? While checking other blogs, I stumbled upon this person, a modern-day filipino nomad.

then a cold wind of realization punch me right smack in the middle of my face. realization that what I'm thinking was shameful uber shameful.

this guy's so amazing and his story is so inspiring, and I thought of sharing them with you:

He's David Poarch
22 years old
High School Valedictorian
Ivy League Scholar
Mensa International Qualified
Triple degree student
NASA Employee
Half Filipino
Good looking

what else can you ask? WTF he got everything, but guess what ... he's back in the Philippines to live a provincial life.. pure nuts! If I got those credentials? I am probably showing my ass off the window for public viewing.

For all my readers who can understand the third world language, watch his story here

part 1

part 2

The Coconuter could either be someone who has a sincere and a noble purpose, OR he's just a genius turned bonkers. Nevertheless, I'm effing inspired by this bloke--he could have a birthmark in his butt saying "Ideal Pinoy" ... I hope they make a David Poarch action figure!

but I'm still leaving the country!

bahay kubo : translated

2007-08-27T16:10:00.000-07:00

earlier this morning, I overheard my co-workers singing a familiar hymn, but the lyrics were undecipherable... apparently they're reading the lyrics from a pinoy web site

hilarious...

BAHAY KUBO GAY VERSION

Valer kuberch, kahit jutay
Ang julamantrax donchi ay anek-anek.
Nyongkamas at nutring, nyogarilyas at kipay
Nyitaw, nyotaw, jutani.
Kundol, jutola, jupot jolabastrax
At mega join-join pa, jobanox nyustasa.
Nyubuyax, nyomatis, nyowang at luyax
And around the keme ay fullness ng linga.

*rofl*

Marry Me Marie

2007-08-25T07:45:00.000-07:00

NO she's not Kc Concepcion and she's making Kristin Kreuk and Riyo Mori feel so ugly.
She's Marie (ma-ree-yay) Digby
She's half Japanese half ... uhmmm ... Goddess!
I saw her on youtube, apparently she's playing it big on the net.
And then she was discovered by radio stations and her single is now available on iTunes...

Wow! I was bewitched by her diaphanous features and pure talent! HOTNESS!
she's covering different songs and making the original artist look crappy.

here's a Marie original, this composition is a tribute to her favorite TV character, Betty. luv'it!

Outwitting, Outplaying, Out GAY-ing China!

2007-08-22T06:13:00.000-07:00

YEY! survivor season is here once again. And they're hitting mainland China this time, I heard they will be sewing-up shirts for export, locked inside a poultry farm with bird flu infected chicken and nibble on lead-intoxicating toys, last man standing shall win immunity! (hahahaha)

here's something not mentioned in the clip: the cast includes a gay Mormon, a former beauty queen (from a pageant held in the Philippines), a playboy bitch, a second degree female black belter, a male underwear model, Madonna's former backup dancer and a guy who believes that the Spice Girls reunion is the most significant historical event of the past 100 years (why not)

no doubt, they will definitely outwit, outplay, out gay each other in the end! HAHAHA

black is back

2007-08-16T14:48:00.000-07:00

If you're having a hard time looking for a kris kringle pick for "something black" ... fret no more, here's an alternative and unique suggestions:

black salt... it may look like a sort of a wound scab scrapings but that'll work as mangang hilaw partner!

We have red, they got black eggs ... ours are salted, theirs are maggoty (im kidding) don't really know what's in there... triple horned gray back dragon embryo maybe?

black native pigs from planet whocareswhere. if spidey got venom, homer's spider pig got these folks (spider pig, spider pig... does whatever a spider pig does--look ouuuuuuut)

Black tissue paper ... at least dung wipes wouldn't look nasty anymore

black cotton buds ... so that you would know if you already picked a portion of your brain, genius!

for shiny whiter teeth, use Black tooth paste! (sure!)

Just in case you want to pretend you're a black hung-man. or maybe you'd like to hide something in the dark.

but here's something more special:

It's not what you think it is, it's not olives with caviar. It may look like a ground smoker's lung, but its edible at least for some mexicans they even consider it a delicacy, Cuitlacoche is a black fungus that infects corn fields, making the kernels bulbous and swollen as they fill with spores. It also goes by the name Huitlacoche. If you're having trouble with the pronounciation, it's: Cuitlacoche (kweet-lah-KOH-chay) or Huitlacoche (dat-sfuckin-NAS-tee).

Yes you can buy it in groceries (just don't know where, and i don't care really), it's like a disease in can. These infected corn is chewy, textured and tasteful, just imagine biting on a plump acne poop! total pus-sy experience, YUMMY!

Post Hogwarts : Unpublished

2007-08-11T16:28:00.000-07:00

I'm currently juggling my time with exams, training, work, paper processing and being a super hero all in one hand the other hand's doing something else. And yet I still manage to read that 7th Rowling book.

It's really a concoction of awes and disappointments, amazement and w-w-w-wait! I read the last three chapters twice already and still loving it. I know for a fact that this is the culmination of the 7 books and 8 years of following the magic and so I'm allowing every single letter of those pages consume me for a moment. OK, now I sound like an over acting high school girl

After the last page, I know a lot of readers' asses are itching to know what happened to the major characters, the epilogue is too short to discuss the details of the years that were bypassed and a lot of things might have happened to them, where did they go? what have they become?

so here's a treat:

WARNING: spoilers galore ahead, if you're still reading the book, then you should stop right here, or you'll find out the ending ... that harry died!

JK Rowling told fans what she thinks happened to many of the book's characters after the final installment. In a 90-minute live Web chat, she fielded some of the approximately 120,000 questions submitted by devotees. It was her first public comment since "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows"

So here's some interesting unpublished details of the ending:

Harry Potter, who always voiced a desire to become an Auror, or someone who fights dark wizards, was named head of the Auror Department under the new wizarding government headed by his friend and ally, Kingsley Shacklebolt. Harry gives occasional lectures to DADA classes at Hogwarts

His wife, Ginny Weasley, stuck with her athletic career, playing for the Holyhead Harpies, the all-female Quidditch team. Eventually, Ginny left the team to raise their three children -- James, Albus Severus and Lily -- while writing as the senior Quidditch correspondent for the wizarding newspaper, the Daily Prophet.

Harry's best friend Ron Weasley joined his brother, George, as a partner at their successful joke shop, Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. He also work with Harry as an Auror.

Hermione Granger, Ron's wife, works for the Ministry and is "pretty high up" in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement and has ensured the eradication of oppressive, pro pure-blood laws, although she began her post-Hogwarts career by working in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, where she is instrumental in greatly improving life for house-elves and their ilk. She has helped in revamping the Ministry. The couple had two children -- Rose and Hugo.

Luna Lovegood, Harry's airily distracted friend with a love for imaginary animals becomes a famous wizarding naturalist Luna discovered many new species of animals and became quite famous for it, though she concluded that crumple-horned snorkacks don't actually exist. She ended up marrying Rolf the grandson of Newt Scamander, author of "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them."

Neville Longbotton has joined the faculty of Pomona Sprout and now also a professor teaching Herbology in Hogwarts. With Professor Minerva McGonagall now as the head mistress.

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley has received a total of at least eight grandchildren from the marriages of Bill and Fleur (their eldest is called Victoire, necessitating that they have at least one other child), of Harry and Ginny (Three) and of Hermione and Ron (Two). George has a son named Fred, named in honour of his late twin. Percy later becomes a high-ranking officer under Kingsley Shacklebolt's administration. Charlie became a specialist in Dragons Taxonomy Studies in Romania.

Hagrid is still living on the cottage near the forbidden forest, he's been a teacher for Care of Magical Creatures and an adviser for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures in the Ministry.

Draco Malfoy, rumored to have Married a Half-blood and had a son named Scorpius, He's relationship with Harry is not really like "the one you sit for a bottle of fire whiskey" but they're in relatively good terms, and its an open secret.

Krum eventually finds love in his native Bulgaria.

Harry and Dudley had meet again. Dudley is muscular rather than obese he has kept his interest in boxing.

Cho Chang became the counselor and adviser of the D.A. in and out of Hogwarts.

Parvati Patil married Dean Thomas

Seamus Finiggan runs the Kenmare Kestrels, a Quidditch sporting business in Ireland

Ernie McMillan is currently traveling across the globe doing research on tropical ingredients for potions.

Katie Bell is coaching for Scottish Quidditch team

Lavander Brown together with Padma Patil runs a shop in Diagon Alley specializing in Divination, Prophecy and Runes

Oliver Wood, Following his graduation from Hogwarts he signed on as Keeper for the Puddlemere United Quidditch team.

Lee Jordan became a Newscaster after his participation as an anti-Ministry of Magic pirate radio station entitled Potterwatch during the rebellion, He eventually married Angelina Johnson, Hogwarts new Quidditch Coach.

Rowling said she may eventually reveal more details in a Harry Potter encyclopedia, but even then, it will never be enough to satisfy the most ardent of her fans. She's dealing with a level of obsession in some of her fans that will not rest until they know the actual length of Harry's ... new wand!

BAHA : random thoughts!

2007-08-07T23:54:00.000-07:00

after more than a month of dry spell and unusually hot monsoon season, the rain cloud has finally arrived. 2 days ago I came home from work and it's still dark, when finally it's drizzling outside... and before i knew it, it's a down pour.. ika nga ni lelay "it's raining cats and goats!"

It's been raining for two days now. So bring out the good books and hot mug of swissmiss, curl-up beside a rain battered window panel wearing your favorite pair o' socks, look down on the flooded streets and say: "mga hampas-lupa! bwahahahaha" (with a celia rodrigues infliction).

I'm not in the right blogging mood, I just want to play dead in bed. So I'll just re-post a blog from last year. This is also a perfect time to cuddle in bed and commit adultery!

-----------------

Lumaki ako sa isang lugar na konting ulan .. bumabaha.. nagtataka nga ako kung bakit di ako tinubuan ng kaliskis at palikpik gayong umiikot ang formative years ko sa baha.. kasabay ko lumaki ang mga Escherichia coli at leptospira interrogans na main-stay sa barangay namin...

sa baha ako nakapag laro ng bangkang gawa sa de gomang tsinelas, manghuli ng dalag, karera ng bangkang papel, mamingwit ng samutsaring basura (mula sa plastic bag hanggang sanitary napkin) at sa maniwala kayo at sa hindi.. doon din ako natuto lumangoy.. hindi ko nga alam kung bakit buhay pa ko.

wala nang sasarap pa sa isang lunes ng umagang malamig at madilim, nakakatamad pumasok dahil umuulan.. tapos biglang i-a announce: all levels CLASSES SUSPENDED ... YESSS! sabay balik sa kama.. tuloy ang tulog.

at wala parin tatalo sa almusal na sinangag, tuyo, kamatis at bagoong.. dagdagan pa ng mainit na kape.. di uso starbucks.. solve na sa kape puro at blend 45 (FYI: wala nang blend 45 sa market ngayon dahil binili na ng rustans para mag supply ng coffee beans sa starbucks)

nung winasak ng bagyong katrina ang new orleans last year.. napanood ko na delubyo ang naidulot nito sa mga nasalantang lugar.. at kakaibang ka-dramahan ang ipinamalas ng mga kano.. akalain mong may umiiyak, may hinihimatay dahil sa anxety attack, may mga nagpapanic at halos mabaliw sa pagwawala.. samantalang ang baha e hangang tuhod lang .. OK LANG SILA?!

HELLO! normal yan dito, kung ang mga kano akala mo ili-lethal injection kung mag drama pag may baha.. e ang mga pinoy, lalo na ang mga bata, mas nageenjoy pa. sa baha kasi nahahasa ang creativity at survival skills ng karamihan sa aming mga pinoy. pagkakataon na rin ito para may excuse na mag-pakabulok sa kama ang mga tamad at rumaket ang mga sukag at gahaman sa pera!

eto ilan sa mga tried and tested raket:

- improvised float vessel gawa sa styro ..... P30 / sakay

- stepping stone / tulay ... kahit magkano (wag lang bababa sa P2) / tawid

- linis windshield (tubig galing sa kanal o baha) ... pag bumaba sa P5 - kumaripas ka na!

- tricycle na triple presyo sa taxi

naaalala ko tuloy nung bata ako, nadidissapoint ako pag bumababa na ang tubig baha... Kung sa ibang bansa CALAMITY ang baha .. sa pilipinas, HOLIDAY!

[photo caption: aug 2004, espana, infront of UST hi-way po ito, jetski for rent 200/hour available at piy margal st.]

boredom = faggotry

2007-08-04T06:05:00.000-07:00

who says prisons are boring?

while other prisons' are overflowing with bravado and beefcake, the 1,500+ inmates of Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center are doing Michael Jackson.

I saw a foreign indie film few years back about a ballet dancer who painstakingly taught a group of hardcore weed smokin' gang to leap, pas de deux and pirouette on their toes. Of course, the movie ends up with a bam-bam-tear-jerky-bow-moment. The third world has a fair share of these cheesiness festival, and its happening inside a notorious facility, I mean it is so cheesy I'm having lactose intolerance.

Though I must say, I was amazed by the fact that instead of cell riot and vandalizing their skin with senseless graffiti like "I LOVE BEKYA" "Punks not dead!" and "papa canton ako" ... these people has creatively formulated an alternative activity to kill boredom. There has been activities in the past like livelihood programs, arts and crafts, cross stitching sessions and bible study where they can divert their energy and time. But these folks are doing something out of the box--Synchronized dancing. They've been practicing everyday and they will be shot on the head if they don't participate (OK I'm exaggerating)

now here's an encore televised in one of those popular morning shows

dang! they are so popular now in youtube! and I won't be surprised to find out that they are now rehearsing for their Pussycat Dolls repertoire!

Fine, so everyone's turning gay now?

philippine drollery in pictures

2007-08-01T23:48:00.000-07:00

Here's the second installment of the posters and signs you can actually see around the fabuloous third world, well I'm not posting these because I want to give the country some serious embarrassment, but ... it's just irresistibly funny.

walking around here is indeed one funny trek, so bring with you your digicam and click away, beacause we are one huge gag show here. although malacañang, senate and the congress is the TRUE seat of comedy, not to mention the side circus and freak show.

silence daw gentlemenS! napapakanta nga ako ng quiet night, ho-oly night...

Holy sh**! so pag holy week daw up-to-sawa?

with all the ballons and anahaw..
its really an AMEZING float

I betcha' this will be a topic of CANVERSation

uhhhm, Paki konek!

sopsop to the left, Jerk'o to the right.
either way you'll be having a goooood time!"

cream vented what?!!
yeah and its a bird! great

in this resort, the sand is white.. and its a beautiful BIACH!

Like PLAT iron? PLAT chested? PLAT tire?

hmmm. no thanks, i have my wnad with me
(hindi naman kasi ako nagmamadali, katakot)

Interpreter please!

JIUCE ko 'day! Kalowka!

Hahaha, this is hilarious I SUER!
at may PRIZE san ka pa?!

what the hell is DO-DINE?
napaka inefficient ng webster at wikipedia, hindi alam ang entry na ito!

Mr Bboy Alulod, mali po yata spelling ng washing machine!

don't get me wrong, I also believe that these doesn't measure a country's sovereignty, and peoples ability to rise up to success ... hmmm whatever!

for more of these, see funny posters part 1 ... click away!

itik-itik no more

2007-07-29T06:03:00.000-07:00

We all know that we Flips are superior, talent wise ang kumontra magsasara pwet!. Other than the boxing arena and Broadway stage, WE ARE CARVING THE PHILIPPINE FLAG ON THE HIP HOP DANCE FLOOR!

last year a group of disco-hopping, limbs-flexin' pinoys made the "filipino talent" reverberate in the global hip hop scene. THE ALL STARS is a Philippine based Hip hop dance group incorporating freestyle, pop, break dance, krump, old school and new school in their routines.

Under their belt are two international titles: Grand prize winners of the 5th World Hip Hop Championships in Redondo Beach, California (July 2006) and 2nd International Hip Hop Open D’Italia in Torino, Italy (June 2006). And NOW as is write this one up, they are defending the title in Los Angeles by bumping off contingents from 33 other countries. I won't be surprised if we will be celebrating soon!

Two years ago the group of hodgepodge is struggling to get support from people and institution that will finance their travel expenses to compete in the championship abroad. Today, All Stars has been backed up by different groups and individuals who believe in their talents—the Department of Tourism, Adidas, Brewing Point, Rotary Club of Araneta, Gold’s Gym, Gringo Honasan, Miguel Zubiri, Edgardo Angara, Bong Revilla, Chiz Escudero, Lino Cayetano, Kiko Pangilinan, Robby Carmona, Tim Yap and Divine Lee.

As I was watching this bootleg clip from last year's championship, I'm literally cursing myself for not attending those summer dance lessons, and when I saw those non-pinoy fans bellowing "PHI-LIP-PINES" out of the audience, I can't help but choke a lump out of amazement. These guys can really move, true enough we've gone a looooong way since itik-itik and maglalatik.

here's another clip, I got goosebumps when they played the Flips National anthem! GO ALL STARS!!!

You think Filipinos are Honest?

2007-07-25T16:52:00.000-07:00

After hearing / reading / seeing bad news about our country, one blow after another, it is really dismaying and making me feel that I'd rather be a lone plankton floating on the waters of a humble hill billy islet somewhere in the pacific, than be a Filipino.

But not after I came across this report on HONESTY (an experiment conducted by Readers Digest), for once I felt pride gleaming off my brown a**!

In the survey, investigators left phones in public places then rang them to see if passers-by would try to return the phones or simply keep them. And guess what folks--we ranked 5th among the most honest cities. choir of angels singing from afar

The experiment was conducted in 32 major cities, well we're not really major "major", but... I guess they just want to put a third world flavor to the flick (you know what I'm saying)

Apparently the most honest city was Ljubljana in Slovenia where all but one phone was returned, followed by Toronto in Canada, Seoul in South Korea, Stockholm in Sweden and yes our very own MANILA (where crime is a staple gag, and the stench literally screaming--THIRD WORLD!!! no, you should deliver it with a smile...AGAIN)

We're on the fifth spot along side with Mumbai and NY! can you freakin' believe that? well, you should... behind all the self proclaimed adversities, awful reputation and bad publicities, we still manage to prove the world THAT WE AIN'T SETTLING FOR A 5110 HANDSETS!!! hahahaha the phone's actually brand new and on the mid-priced line.

So, we're not really the No.1 most honest, yes there were still some who badly needed an answer to their prayers of "grace falling from the sky" and that's why they took away the phone. But thanks to those Random Pinoys who made the right act of returning those phones and made the whole country proud once more!

click away for the complete list!
and thanks to Dazed and Confused for the good news

SONA : take seven... Aaaaac-tion!!!

2007-07-23T09:35:00.000-07:00

I'm really not a political rat, I'd rather be a takatak boy that be in a career that has something to do with politics, economics, law and circus! That's why my opinion here are purely personal and nothing to do with a pursuance of a political agenda, rebellion and terrorism whatsoever!

together with the 40% of the population of this side of the third world June 2007, SWS survey I don't want to stay any longer, in dire need of moving-out to have a better life!

watching the SONA is like liberally putting rock salt in an open wound of despising this country's government. So what's going on in my head while watching the SONA? here:

GMA: Hangarin kong mapabilang ang Pilipinas sa mayayamang bansa sa loob
ng dalawampung taon ... I envision Philippines as first world in 20 years.
ME : HAHAHAHA, like me being blond and blue eyed caucasian hunk in 20 years! SURE!

GMA: investments in physical, intellectual, legal and security infrastructure to increase business confidence. Imprastraktura para sa negosyo at trabaho. Isang milyong trabaho taon-taon.
ME: 1 Million jobs? with salary of 20 thousand divided to those 1 Million new jobs? bright thinking! how about increasing the salary too?

GMA: Mahusay na edukasyon ang pinakamabuting pamana natin sa ating mga anak
ME: blah blah blah! aanhin mo ang "good education" kung wala naman matinong trabaho after graduation? I'd rather receive cold cheque from my parents!

GMA: Let's start with election reform. We have long provided funds for computerization. We look forward to the modernization of voting, counting and canvassing.
ME: (ROFL!)

GMA: Taun-taon dose-dosenang opisyal ang nasususpinde, napapatalsik o kinakasuhan dahil labis-labis sa suweldo ang gastos at ari-arian nila.
ME: then what the hell are you doing there? ... 'nuff said

GMA: gurong mas magaling at mas malaki ang kita
ME: mas magaling? wala nasa US na lahat... mas malaki kita? saan, sa longanisa? WAHAHA

GMA: Graft won't be eliminated overnight but we are making progress.
ME: heard that before!

GMA: “We have been investing hundreds of billions in human and physical infrastructure,”
ME: I heard... but where are the good filipino nurses and doctors? GONE!

GMA: Tapos na ang halalan at pamumulitika
ME: are you kiding me? 50% of your SONA is virtually names of your friendsters!

GMA: enumerate what the doables are this year towards making the country more competitive and more attractive for investors
ME: hmmm, like continue exploiting our wealth of wonders and selling islands to foreign Richie Rich's ? (SPELL: AMANPULO?)

GMA: cover the subject of waging peace in Mindanao
ME: why not start in your own congress?

GMA: a weak economy into a strong republic
ME: like Paris Hilton receiving a Nobel for discovering new species of microorganism?

BUNYE: the President herself writes and rewrites her Sona in her laptop computer and the final version is completed only a few minutes before she boards her vehicle to Congress.
ME: that's what you think, maybe she's just posting a bulletin on her friendster!

nyahahaha! HAHAHAHR! Whehehehehe
opinion lang po, walang personalan!

for the complete 2007 SONA transcript... click away!

tatay's birthday and baby francis

2007-07-21T09:56:00.000-07:00

Click on the photos to view larger image

harrypotter.pdf

2007-07-20T13:11:00.000-07:00

In a matter of minutes, the final book which the muggle world has been waiting for will be on the racks. I even saw news about some fans waiting for absolution, camping-out two days ahead in front of the bookstores everywhere across the planet.

an obvious fanaticism
I'm also a big fan but I'm sane enough not to be on that queue.

I was reading the news, some spoilers and plot predictions, just to prep my mood before dropping-by the nearest bookstore to grab my copy.

it was 3 minutes before midnight. when suddenly...

ding!

a mail arrived delivered by my ever so reliable owl yahoo mail and guess what's in my inbox:

"BLOODY KAMOTE!!!"

Freshly brewed pdf copy! fumes' still steaming out of the monitor! I can literally smell it. FRESH!

I guess I can delay buying the hardbound!
nye-nye nyi-nye-nye!

the phone wears prada

2007-07-16T07:18:00.000-07:00

I'm a bit ambivalent about this new phone and don't really know if i'm actually buying this s**t. Surely, its an inspiring tech stuff but the fact that it's a Prada, makes me squirm by merely thinking about it.

It looks yummy alright, but I already told y'all, I'm not a big fan of over the top gizmo's, specially grandiose labels that even Imelda Marcos will feel guilty about.

this new phone from LG (KE850), that's bumping off other fashion phones like motorola D&G and the Vertu of nokia... might be the doppleganger of iPhone the heck but some reviews says its even a notch better than that apple slag

it doesn't require a rocket scientist to realize that high end businesses are taking over the general market. Brands which only the hiltons, gates, forbes', trumps can afford are now being attached to our daily junks, not just to give pizazz but raise up the price tags. i wont be surprised if there will be gucci toothbrush, louis vuitton insect repellent, fendi cotton buds and dolce & gabana breast implant, anytime soon.

PRADA PHONE: asian geeki-ness and european faggotry combined.

for the Prada phone specs? ayoko ikwento, I'm not in the right mood. Just look for some geek's blog and read it!
So here's the link... click away!

Harry Potter Gets Naked

2007-07-11T20:58:00.000-07:00

"Don't worry Hermione.
I'll go easy on you."

-Ron Weasley

Yesterday I checked greenbelt cinemas to have a punch in the dark in getting a seat on the first day of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Movie. As an inevitable fate, I end up walking out empty handed--all seats are taken, Blimey!

I have read all the books at least twice and since I will be waiting for all the ballyhoos and the over the top brouhaha to subside before hitting the movie house--I think I will just have to read the book again for a refresher's brush-up. Movie fans are expected to plug the box office until the weekend.

This installment of the Warner Bros film (book five) is darker, more violent and bloodcurdling scenes are all over the place. It's GP no more, so expect blood on your popcorn. The plot is getting more mature as the cast grows older in every episode. I can't believe that it has been 6 years already, six ephemeral years since the first movie came out.

then...

NOW!

And earlier this year I came across an article about Daniel Radcliffe. This news has been around since late last year, but I guess it took an erotic photoshoot with a horse for everybody to start caring. 17-year-old Daniel Radcliffe stars in the London revival of the Tony award winning play Equus. The original calls for full frontal nudity including a scene where the main character simulates a sex act while riding naked on a horse. girls squeaking on the background

hmmm... I think I'll stick with the HP Movies!

JK Rowling's raising up the censor factor of the story a notch higher year after year, it started from exchanging treats, hands holding accidentally, prom flings, kissing, hard wands... blah blah! I will not be surprise if there would be bed scenes on the final book. As we might see new spells like lubricuus totalis! orgasmus fiesta! or wands being used for a whole different purpose.

bad thoughts! BAD THOUGHTS!

And oh! the uncensored pictures are available upon request... pervs!

ayPhone!

2007-07-08T14:00:00.000-07:00

The most hyped gadget in the history of modern technology has landed a week ago, and the geeks all over the globe are still far from being sober

As for me? I won’t buy that alien looking phone. Other that the obvious fact that it looks like a hybrid of a phone and some futuristic sex toy, I also have few other reasons why:

IT'S DAMN EXPENSIVE, $600 for an 8 gig phone? Are you some sort of a chestnut-dido-haha? It's designed to play music and videos, how many videos do you think will fit-in with that pea-sized memory space? For the price of f***king 32 Kiaw 8 hammer and 53 pokels (third world currency), it should at least be 800 gig. I mean the fruit doesn’t match its price, E pwede mo na ipantubos sa kaluluwa ni Hitler sa impyerno yung presyo nun e!

ITS A PARIS HILTON (beautiful and stupid!) yes its one trendy thingamajig, but look:

Its not 3G
Transfer speed is at 35 mph (WTF…)
No flash or Java
iPod Earphones wont fit
Poor battery life
It is using that BULOK safari browser (not Firefox/IE)
No voice recording
No voice dialing (so goodluck nalang if you’re driving)
No custom ring tone (and they say it's a music phone!)
No to do function (read: what’s a PDA phone w/o a planner)

Rule number ONE in the Book of Geeks: Don’t buy any 1st gen prototype! Wait for the second generation, especially if its from Mac!

remember Apple Pippin, OpenDoc, Mac TV, Mac XL/Lisa, Microsoft Word 6.0, Copland, eWorld, Puck Mouse/Kiddie Keyboard, Flower Power/Blue Dalmatian iMac, Macintosh Portable... RING A BELL?

OPKORS NAT!

these are all 1st gen prototype failures, and they are all from Mac, where are they now?
SWIMMING IN THE MIDDLE OF THEIR INEXORABLE OBLIVION!

Seriously? RES IPSA LOQUITUR!

new seven wonders announced!

2007-07-07T17:48:00.000-07:00

The New 7 Wonders of the world was announce July 7, 2007 (07-07-07), it was the first global online, phone and sms voting campaign to elect the new seven wonders of the world.

I'm just a bit disappointed to see that there's no winner from Africa, Australiasia and Pacific Islands. I'm expecting that all major inhabited continents will have a representative. So here's your New 7 Wonders:

Chichén Itzá, Mexico
symbolizes
Worship & Knowledge

Christ Redeemer, Brazil
stands for
Welcoming & Openness

The Great Wall, China
incredible proof of
Perseverance & Persistence

Machu Picchu, Peru
symbol of
Community & Dedication

Petra, Jordan
great symbol of
Engineering & Protection

The Roman Colloseum, Italy
now a symbol of
Joy & Suffering

The Taj Mahal, India
greatest symbol of
Love & Passion

Quiapo, Manila
symbolizes
Traffic, Chaos & Crime

syempre joke yun! ano ka ba!?

click here to see other finalists

Of course, we all know that the OLD WONDERS are no longer existing, with exemption to the Pyramids of Giza. The other six were the Hanging Gardens of Babylon (destructed by earthquake in 1st century BC), Temple of Artemis (Herostratus burned it down in an attempt to achieve lasting fame, abnormal, pasaway, papansin), Statue of Zeus at Olympia (Dismantled by Christian rulers to discourage paganism), Mausoleum of Maussollos (Damaged by an earthquake and eventually disassembled by European Crusaders), Colossus of Rhodes (fell down due to earthquake and th bronze body parts were sold by traveling merchants pinoy siguro mga yun) and the Lighthouse of Alexandria (destructed by earthquake, ruins were found submerged under water).

So the world has elected its new list, and the rest is History.
O, nasan na ngayon ang Banawe Rice Terraces mo?

Transformers' Transformation (then and now)

2007-07-03T13:02:00.000-07:00

"Autobots! TRANSFORM!".
[KOCHKOKHCHRCHKRCHRCHRCHTH!!!]

I saw Transformers five hours ago, and I've been sleeping for 3 hours already. Then I woke up in dire need to see Bumblebee once again! WOW, my jaw's still on its awe position infront of my PC at 3:30 in the morning (made me want to lick that hood!)

I tell you folks! I almost cried when I first saw Bumblebee transform... I swear I'm like a little girl in pink pigtail on a Christmas day na noon lang nakatanggap ng Barbie!

I love the film, funny, eye-popping CGI, jaw dropping action sequence, tear jerky, good cinematography, Michael bay's signature's all over the place, it's just so COOL! And there's this scene where bumblebee transmodified itself from a half-crappy car to a blingy black striped yellow Camaro (kill bill theme playing on the background) . I know , Kill Bill shifted that yellow-black stereotype from NY cabs and school buses to something soooooo wickedly Uma! wooot-woooow!

Although the producer has been faithfull with the personalites of the characters based on the 1980's cartoon series, The cast was modified by giving a new look and transformation modes (this time it's an all american line of vehicles) so here's a treat for y'all: Transformers Then and Now

JAZZ from porche 935 turbo to pontiac solstice 2007

RATCHET from ambulance to hummer h2 (search & rescue modification)

IRONHIDE from ford F-series pick-up truck to GMC topkick

BUMBLEBEE from Volkswagen beetle to Chevrolet Camaro

OPTIMUS PRIME from 16 wheeler to Peterbilt semi truck (long nose)

BARRICADE from F1 race car to Saleen s281 Ford (police mobile)

BLACKOUT from mobile missile flatform to Sikorsky MH-53 Pave Low helicopter

STARSCREAM from F-15 Eagle Jet to F-22 Raptor Fighter

FRENZY from Microcassette Tape to CD Player stereo, Mobile phone (head)

MEGATRON from walther p38 9mm pistol (what the heck?) to a Cybertronian jet

I LOVE YOU MICHAEL BAY! ENCORE! ENCORE! I can't wait for the part two!
Bibili talaga ako ng Action figures ... bwahahahahaha!

Exploratory Bag-otomy

2007-06-28T02:34:00.000-07:00

I'm a bit nosy when it comes to other people's beezwax, and I love scrutinizing the guts of my freinds' hand bags, kikay kits, pouches and even gym bags... I remember one friend calling me UT-UTERO (mahilig daw ako makialam ng mga kung anik-anik at kararautan ng kung sino sino) I have this talent of determining one's personality by knowing what's inside her/his personal sack (I think I'm mutant) or some sort of bag analyst.

So let's start by showing you mine i mean what's stuffin' my bag, what are you thinkin'?, then let me know if you can read my personality!

SAMSONITE SINGLE STRAPPED SACK - It was a birthday gift from R, i love the texture and the toughness, it's waterproof and has a lifetime warranty. But I have an inkle that the zipper should be on the other side. really, I can feel, it's on the wrong side.

TOOTHPASTE & BRUSH - I eat a lot of spicy stuff: onions, garlic, spicy sisig, spicy sauces, spicy mocha frappuccino! i know there's no such thing, but I love to try it if there's one.

GADGETS - Im not into 3G or that 178 in 1 celphones, because I believe that the purpose of a phone is solely for calling and texting for crying out loud! not for pictures nor mp3's nor storage nor sex toy nor whatever... And I always bring with me my iPod (for media stuff and all that) and a Digital Camera.

NOTE PAD, PEN AND POST IT - whenever im bored, I write and/or draw. like what im doing now. I use to bring that 10 ton-starbucks planner, but I felt that I'm near having a Herniated Nucleus Pulposus if I'll be bringing it with me everyday.

CARD HOLDER - it's leather, it's olive green, it's compact, it's Fino and it's my wallet. And NO I dont put the entire family photo album on it, just cards and money kung meron

ALCOHOL - I'm a medical professional so I have to follow proper aseptic technique. Also it's my weapon against obnoxious bacteria (na nagkatawan tao, at palakad lakad sa pinagtatrabahuhan ko)

COMPANY ID - it's with the proxy card, to get in and out of the door (we still dont have the aloha mora technology at work, bummer!)

CK SHADES - it's a gift from Christmas '06. I'm a nocturnal animal and sometimes I have to stay a bit late at work (that's until 7am)--and I cannot stand the sunlight, I will turn into ash.

KIKAY STUFF - that's Nivea Q10 face cream for men and Clinique happy for men, wala pa-pogi lang. Without these two? I will also turn into ash.

So how about you? what's on your bag right now? Post away!

faith, hope and glutony

2007-06-26T00:09:00.001-07:00

It's really difficult to resist something gastronomically wicked after days of toxic work. It's a glorious reward that you can splurge yourself into, just ignore that damn bill for once. And since nagsasasawa na ko sa mga hindi makatotohanang pagkain sa 711 at McDo, kaya pinatulan ko na ang mga nakaka-akit-matang menu ng old spaghetti house sa baba.

It was a dinner-date with a dear friend Monyat, where we talked and talked about work, mediocrity of some people around and of course Croatian pornographic thoughts *wink*. I ordered Chicken Piccata w/ garlic spaghetti , Monyat had her fave pesto grilled chicken. But the finale was the bomb, "THE" faith-defying Classic Banana split (PhP 140 = US$ 3) you should try it, the ice cream was uber-delicious, creaminess to perfection. Gusto ko nga dilaan yung plate nung may natirang konti!

Then last saturday, I went out with another pal Garrett, together with some folks. Of course Jolibee (aka Mono-sodium Glutamate cooked in 101 ways) is out of the picture. So we walked to the farther end of greenbelt 3 and found these:

Chicken Milanese (PhP 390 = US$ 8.50) and the Tartuffo (PhP 360 = US$ 8 / slice tangina one slice lang yun) I don't know if (and I Hope) it was really delicious, because I might have been sub-consciously convincing myself that it was really good because it's freakin' expensive! Buti na lang may free bread plate that they constantly refill, it's perfect with olive oil, Italian vinaigrette and Parmesan cheese.

LDL... LDL... LDL...
yes, Low Density Lipoprotein ... I can even smell it whenever I fart! So I'm expecting a myocardial infarction anytime within the next two hours.

"I'm not a plastic bag"

2007-06-21T12:45:00.000-07:00

I've been seeing this Anya Hindmarch "I'm not a Plastic Bag", everywhere. Apparently it's now officially a global phenomenon as it promotes environmental awareness by condemning the use of plastic bags blah blah blah yeah yeah whatever!. It will be reaching Asia in two week's time. Major cities like Tokyo, Hongkong, Singapore and Bangkok are expecting its arrival and so fashion termites are all queueing-up for advance orders. Syempre hindi kasama manila dun we're third-world, so expect a decoy in divisoria anytime soon.

Most girls I know says it's quite cheeky and with all the talk about banning plastic shopping bags it is fashionably swished. but I dont think asians will put durian or onions and raw chicken gizzards all juicing down inside this over-hyped sack.

Originally it damages around $10 - as it should be! That is why this bag has been selling like hotcakes. But now! it bids up to $270 on eBay. Ok, WHAT THE FUCK ARE Y'ALL THINKING?! ... are you fuckin' kiddin' me? who would've... 'nuff said!

OK... Fashion meets function meets the environment meets ass lickin' asian fashionistas all gone berserk! UNBELIEVABLE!

elvis to n'sync

2007-06-20T20:58:00.000-07:00

chekin' out youtube (aka. the new TV) and I randomly clicked-and-clicked on the video links, until I saw this weird (funny kinda' weird) intermission number presented by an inspirational youth speaker. At first, I thought it'll be just a So-SO kind of dance flick. but this Judson guy's one helluva sheep-fuckin' funny bubba!

the dolphin dive, running man, moonwalk, thriller, YMCA-moves, grease, saturday night fever, walk like an egyptian, chicken dance, THE wave, vanilla ice, crazy cowboy, the list goes on and on....nya har har yer yer

he's crazy

niños inocentes cum gremlins

2007-06-15T03:29:00.000-07:00

I was rummaging through some old pictures in my photo folders, and after piles of porn flicks and other evidences of moral carnage, I unearthed this shots that I took two years ago on a Holy week inside the walled city...

Kung titingnan, talagan nakakaawa yung mga bata--frail, innocent, puppy eyed and the puss-in-boots' pa-awa expression. But honestly, this is not what I'm expecting to see in a historical place during the biggest Catholic celebration of the country. I'm expecting a bit more solemn yet colorful pageantry of colonial throwback and ecclesiastic artistry in motion.

Langya! . . . yun pala eh: alms begging, filthy drama and ugly showcase of poverty and economic mishap (read: SQUATTER) I'm sorry people but it is SOooo (take it superlatively) uninspiring. Not worth the basking under the spf-60 cracking heat of the mid summer sun of metro manila.

PHOTO CAPTION: akala nyo lang mukang nakakaawa mga batang yan, pero sa totoong buhay... masasakal mo sila sa leeg hangang lumabas ang utak nila sa mata, ilong at tenga.

Pucha! ayaw ako tantanan, hinihingi yung buco juice ko na pagka-mahal-mahal na parang pwede mo na ipang-down payment ang presyo sa utang ng pilipinas sa world bank!--"Hoy bata ano ka sinuswerte? mag aral ka mabuti para maka kuha ka ng disenteng trabaho at maka bili ka ng buco juice mo!" (with an evil-max-alvarado-ish inflection)

"sige na kuya, kahit limang piso lang" . . . aba at may minimum pa! bakit pag tatlong piso ba binigay ko hindi nya tatanggapin? pero sige, binigyan ko na ng ten peso coin . . .

"si kuya naman, parang buco juice lang e . . . mahal na araw naman ah! . . . (nung makalayo na ko) . . . KUYA TANG'NA MO!!!"

wish-wish-wish

2007-06-14T01:27:00.000-07:00

"People are dying in some parts of Africa... "

Dear Santa (or genie in the lamp, or tooth fairy, or wishing star, or vicky morales),

I've been a good boy, (I can hear objections in the background..SHUT UP!) and I am not a buy-me-that-malignantly-expensive-toy kinda guttersnipe. But I want (need) the following:

That Nike bag – I got a tantamount of bags to my daily (cycled) lifestyle, but for some reason I want a new one. THIS ONE! Last week I saw this nike bag in Rustans and I can’t seem to take it of my head since then, I can even smell its manufacture scent in my dreams.

That Wicked book (by Gregory Maguire) – I even finished the

first few chapters by reading it off the shelf. BUT-I-GOT-TO-HAVE-A-CO-PY! (roar!).

Reading that book on a warm soft couch near a rain battered windowsill? over a cup of hot tea? while wearing a pair of ruby shoes?
… priceless! (oh wait, I don’t have-- a couch!)

That black and beach Crocs – dang! I saw this in Kuala Lumpur last march, I thought: “next time na lang, meron naman nyan sa Pinas”… E LECHE! When I got home--wala, ubos na, nada, wala na, zero, zip, out of stock… PAKAMATAY NA LANG KAYO LAHAT!! (but i think they have it now in rustans!)

That Topman Jeans –I know I'm not even near being a bloody fashion rat to pull a pathologically expensive brand like gucci cavalli and prada, and so i diverted my itch to that topaman jeans. I really want (need) it and I just want (need) to try having a non-bench, non-human, non-guess and non-divisoria pair of jeans! . . . (ok fine! meron din nun sa F&H , ok na rin sakin yun!)

That Seventh Book – D-d-D-do I really have to explain why?

damn! im such a blowhard egomaniac!
oh! do you want to see my ruby shoes? Click Away!

hafi indipindins day!

2007-06-11T09:17:00.000-07:00

Bakit ba English ang universal language? E samantalang mas malaki population ng mga Chinese sa mundo.

Bakit nga ba natatawa tayong mga pinoy pag mali mali mag english mga kababayan natin? talaga bang nakakababa ng pagkatao at nakakasira ng pagka-nilalang kung hindi tayo magaling mag english?

HIndi naman siguro masama kung mag-tatagalog...
tingnan nyo to:

imported europeans? katakot, cannibalism!

sorry! di ko nabasa na NO ENTER!

past is past nga e!

so lets follows the rules, ok?

sad yung mini pencher

baka naman typo error lang kayo naman!

what a generous government!

meron din naman na R18...

here's more...

sa virthday ko gusto ko varvie

once is enough, twice is WAY too much

written by: manny pacquiao

your shit is dead dude!

for real?

pero meron din naman na pa cute lang talaga!

WAG NA KASE MAGTANONG!

at dahil Philippine independence day, here's something historical!

bwahahaha! hihihi! Nyahahaha!

reminder lang po, ang mga hapon hindi magagaling mag english, pero maunlad parin ang bansa nila!
MALIGAYANG ARAW NG KASARINLAN, PILIPINAS!

deep fried childhood

2007-06-09T22:41:00.000-07:00

Last week i visited my parents' (well, "our") house after almost two months of procrastination (my dogs didn't even recognize me, great!). And this time of the year, mommy's attending the Antipolo novena. I tell you folks, going to antipolo without bringing home the traditional pasalubongs? is like sex without "O"

So mommy baught me 2 dozens, it costs around PhP 180, but when I told her that I will pay for it... "ay, 500 yata yun" ... all of a sudden (classic!)

So there's my SUMAN, something that incessantly reminds me of my childhood. When I was young-ER, I remember finding inner peace and profound happiness everytime I unwrap my suman's spiral coconut leaf covering... So I went back home in manila with a bagfull of suman and it has been my breakfast, lunch and dinner for the past two days, and I'm still loving it.

Here's what I did: I deep fried it until it's crispy and golden brown. Not everyone knows that you can fry it, and that it will actually taste better that way. Imagine biting into crunchy coated suman and feel the sticky, chewey and warm inside as your teeth digs deeper in to it (uhhh, uber heaven!) enough to forget that ill feeling of throwing-up upon accidentally seeing kris aquino on TV.

But that's not all, antipolo's special suman has a strip of langka in its core, giving it a surprising summer-y aftertaste.

Here's the three different perfect partners of suman: ripe mangoes, thick hot chocolate and gata concoction (just try to figure it out) and the time-honored, SUGAR.

pinoys all over the globe : Drooooooooool!

eto lang maipapayo ko...

2007-06-08T23:02:00.000-07:00

to those who'll be taking the June 2007 NLE:

1. mag pray, dont worry kaya ko kayo tutulungan dyan.

2. chillax, wag mag feeling na nag-a anxiety attack (inarte ka!)

3. wag masyado magpaka lunod sa butter balls (loko, heperglycemia)

4. alalahanin, na wala sa ipina-bless na mongol #2 ang swerte at HIMALA! ang himala ay nasa puso...!

5. pagka-tapos ng bawat exams, wag matakot kung parang lahat ng sinagutan mo e mali, aba natural, yung mga questions na hindi ka sigurado ang maaalala mo, kaya tigilan na ang pagko-compare ng sagot (mauubos load mo)

6. pwede mag baon ng snacks sa loob ng room. snack ha as in chocolates, sandwiches at gatorade, bawal ang tapsilog, sisig at bulalo!

7. at nakuha mo pang mag check ng internet, diba dapat nagrereview ka ngayon?

galingan nyo, kaya nyo yan!!!

etiology of of a call center agent

2007-06-06T10:22:00.000-07:00

kung ka-edad mo ako at at pareho tayo ng estado ng buhay, malamang magkapareho tayo ng pananaw kung modern communication ang pag-uusapan.

kalimutan muna natin ang wifi, gprs, 3g at kung anu-anong tech stuff na nanlilimas ng bank account at payroll natin. bago nagsulputan ang mga ito, nabuhay nakuntento at napaligaya tayo ng domestic and mass telecommunication.

simulan natin nung 1990's, lahat ng teenager hindi na kilala ang mga magulang nila dahil pre-occupied sa TELEPONO. mura, payak pero umikot dito ang buhay ng mga bagets noon...

pag dating sa bahay telepono na agad ang tatabihan, walang bihis-bihis, walang ligo-ligo-- dial agad sa mga kabarkada na 15 mins pa lang hindi nagki-kitakita. dito mo mahahasa ang talas ng memorya, hindi uso ang phone book, kabisado mo lahat ng numbers ng ka klase, isama mo pa ang samut saring numbers ng party-line, radio hotline (request line) at ang pinaka sikat na AT&T105-15 (yung may mga kawawang operator na pinagti-tripan ng mga estudyanteng walang magawa sa free call na phone booth)

lalong naging masalimuot ang buhay ng mga nanay sa pagsaway sa kabataan sa pagtetelebabad nang lumabas ang call waiting function ng PLDT at ang Three way calling... uusok ang telepono at mamumula ang tenga mo dahil talaga namang nakakaaliw makipag-usap sa telepono lalo na kung walo kayo sa linya...

"hoy julius wag ka nga maingay di ko marinig kwento ni ebs!"

wala naman talagang makabuluhan ang pinag-uusapan ang magkakabarkada, minsan sa sobrang wala na kaming mapag-kwentuhan, sabaysabay na lang kami nanunuod ng marimar habang nasa telepono ... at kung minsan, nag-hihingahan na lang kami sa linya... at ibababa na lang pag inantok na...

call termination: yun pa ang isang nakakatawang bahagi nito... eto ang senaryo :

makalipas ang 2 oras na dead air...
"sige na good night na"
"oo nga bukas na natin ituloy"
"sige ibaba mo na.."
"mauna ka"
"hindi ikaw na... ako na nga tumawag e"
--makalipas ang walong taong negosasyon--
"sige na nga sabay na lang tayo"
"ok ... one.. two...three"

---dead air---

"o bakit di mo binaba?"
"kahapon ako na nagbaba e"

"o sige na nga"

(pagkababa...aangatin ulit ang receiver)
"o bakit nandyan ka pa?"

hay nako!!!

"tall peppermint mocha, for ron!"

2007-06-06T02:52:00.003-07:00

libre naman ang kape sa office
masarap naman kape sa bahay
bottomless din brewed coffee sa gym
walang bayad ang kape sa hospital

then how come I still get my cup of caffeine from starbucks?

(weird)

BOARD EXAM: part 2

2007-06-05T17:36:00.000-07:00

(this is a repost from january '07)

Ang board exam, isang paraan para malaman kung handa ka na bang magnurse-nurse-san at maguumepal sa hospital...

libu-libong piso ang inilalaan para sa review...

pang starbucks...
pang bili ng pirated materials sa tapat ng PRC...
at pang xerox ng leakage...

at kamakailan nagsulputang parang kulugo ang mga negosyong review centers sa maynila... naging malaking gatasan ito ng mga matatalino (mauutak) na baklang nurses na pagka-galing-galing mang uto ng estudyante, sa pamamagitan ng pananakot na di sila papasa pag di sila nag enroll sa review centers nila, naging multi million peso industry ang modus operanding ito.

at dahil sa kanila, maraming nawalan ng kompyansa sa sarili na mag-take ng exam. idinikdik kasi nila sa isip namin na hindi daw sapat ang pinag-aralan namin nung college para ipasa ang laban sa PRC.

* * * * *

dumating ang examination day na hindi ako sigurado sa pinapasok kong gulo!

alas singko nag uamaga ako nagising... wala nang panahon para ma-feel ko na kinakabahan ako... wala din ako malalapitan or mayayapos para mag inarte at sabihin "hindi ko yata kaya" parang kahit isang tray ng balut ang kainin ko--manginginig parin ang tuhod ko sa kaba!

sa mga oras na yun, parang blangko ang utak ko at nag drop siguro sa 25 ang IQ score ko... naglaho ng apat na taon na pinag aralan na parang nag joke ang pagkakataon. pati yata normal value body temp di ko maalala! LAGOT!

***nagsimula at natapos ang exam***

isang punto yun ng buhay ko na ayoko na talaga balikan.

wala ako naalala, parang REPRESSION, unconscious forgetting of traumatic experience and selected events! or baka nagkaron lang ako ng temporary retrograde amnesia!

mahigit isang bwan bago lumabas ang results.. isang buwan na parang habang-buhay na paghihintay

imaginin mo yung isang buwan na di ka makatulog, at wala kang iba iniisip kundi ang itsura ng dyaryo kinabukasan... dumaan ang pasko at bagong taon na parang tulala ka sa kawalan at tuwing pipikit ka e DOH manual ang makikita mo. inaamin ko: ipinagdasal kong wag na lang sana lumabas ang result at makalimutan ng PRC na may nag-take ng December boards!

BOARD EXAM: part 1

2007-06-05T17:03:00.001-07:00

Gaano ba kahirap makakuha ng lisensya bilang nurse sa pilipinas?

imagine...

matapos mong aralin ang makakapal na libro ng anatomy, surgery at fundamentals; isapuso ang DOH book from cover to cover, not to mention ang pagmememorize ng samutsaring mikrobyo at sakit na di mo alam kung saan planeta nagmula.. tapos nun, papahirapan ka pa ng isang Grand FInale na itago natin sa tawag na ...

BOARD EXAM!

nakakatawa, nakakapagod, nakakaiyak at nakaka bula ng kilikili ang prosesong ito. kung inaakala mong natatapos sa graduation at pagsusuot ng toga ang kalbaryo mo... pwes nagkakamali ka. Dahil hindi pa yun ang tamang oras para isanla ng tatay mo ang ngipin nyang ginto at ipa-katay ng nanay mo ang pinakamamahal nyong baka.

Kinakailangan mong i-file sa PRC ang requirements, cases, papeles, birth certificate, clearances, transcripts, authentication of circumcision at marami pang iba.

pipila ka sa luma, amoy pawis, magulo at masalimuot na mundo ng PRC. Para itong concentration camp ng mga Nazi nung world war II.. si Hitler na lang ang kulang , kumpleto na ang cast.. At kahit gaano mo na-master ang mga pinag aralan mo sa loob ng ilan taon sa college, magugulo ang utak at pagkatao mo sa lugar na to, and by the time you step-out of the PRC exit gate... para kang na-reformat na PC .. TABULA RASA .. blangko!

pano ka pa papasa sa exam nyan!? (aNak ng Mongol pencil #1!)

sabi nila, one week before the exam dapat nagre-relax ka na lang.. hindi ganun sa kaso ko... since nagta trabaho ako, di ko kaya isacrifice ang ilang lingong sweldo, kaya 1 week before the exam--dun pa lang ako nag start mag review:

7 days to go: pakape-kape sa starbucks kunyaring nagbabasa ng Obstetrics

6 days to go: nafeel kong lahat ng kilala kong mag te-take madami nang alam at ako wala pa rin... pakshet!

5 days to go: umiikot na sikmura ko sa kaba, kaya sinusuyod ko na ang mga pages ng Fundamentals at psych

4 days to go: nagbubungkal ako sa tambakan, hinahanap mga lectures ko nung college, mas madali kasi intindihin yun.

3 days to go: maluha-luha kong binabasa ang DOH

2 days to go: inakyat ko and antipolo church, nag-alay ng itlog sa st claire, nag tirik ng kandila sa mt. carmel at baklaran, lumuhod sa quiapo, nag novena kay St. Jude, mataimtim na nalangin dun sa bagong simbahan sa macapagal... at tumingin ng Havaianas sa Mall of Asia

Night before the exam: NAGLASING MAG-ISA ANG LOLO MO!

(to be continued...)