Thursday, June 28, 2007

Exploratory Bag-otomy

I'm a bit nosy when it comes to other people's beezwax, and I love scrutinizing the guts of my freinds' hand bags, kikay kits, pouches and even gym bags... I remember one friend calling me UT-UTERO (mahilig daw ako makialam ng mga kung anik-anik at kararautan ng kung sino sino) I have this talent of determining one's personality by knowing what's inside her/his personal sack (I think I'm mutant) or some sort of bag analyst.

So let's start by showing you mine i mean what's stuffin' my bag, what are you thinkin'?, then let me know if you can read my personality!

SAMSONITE SINGLE STRAPPED SACK - It was a birthday gift from R, i love the texture and the toughness, it's waterproof and has a lifetime warranty. But I have an inkle that the zipper should be on the other side. really, I can feel, it's on the wrong side.

TOOTHPASTE & BRUSH - I eat a lot of spicy stuff: onions, garlic, spicy sisig, spicy sauces, spicy mocha frappuccino! i know there's no such thing, but I love to try it if there's one.

GADGETS - Im not into 3G or that 178 in 1 celphones, because I believe that the purpose of a phone is solely for calling and texting for crying out loud! not for pictures nor mp3's nor storage nor sex toy nor whatever... And I always bring with me my iPod (for media stuff and all that) and a Digital Camera.

NOTE PAD, PEN AND POST IT - whenever im bored, I write and/or draw. like what im doing now. I use to bring that 10 ton-starbucks planner, but I felt that I'm near having a Herniated Nucleus Pulposus if I'll be bringing it with me everyday.

CARD HOLDER - it's leather, it's olive green, it's compact, it's Fino and it's my wallet. And NO I dont put the entire family photo album on it, just cards and money kung meron

ALCOHOL - I'm a medical professional so I have to follow proper aseptic technique. Also it's my weapon against obnoxious bacteria (na nagkatawan tao, at palakad lakad sa pinagtatrabahuhan ko)

COMPANY ID - it's with the proxy card, to get in and out of the door (we still dont have the aloha mora technology at work, bummer!)

CK SHADES - it's a gift from Christmas '06. I'm a nocturnal animal and sometimes I have to stay a bit late at work (that's until 7am)--and I cannot stand the sunlight, I will turn into ash.

KIKAY STUFF - that's Nivea Q10 face cream for men and Clinique happy for men, wala pa-pogi lang. Without these two? I will also turn into ash.

So how about you? what's on your bag right now? Post away!

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

faith, hope and glutony

It's really difficult to resist something gastronomically wicked after days of toxic work. It's a glorious reward that you can splurge yourself into, just ignore that damn bill for once. And since nagsasasawa na ko sa mga hindi makatotohanang pagkain sa 711 at McDo, kaya pinatulan ko na ang mga nakaka-akit-matang menu ng old spaghetti house sa baba.

It was a dinner-date with a dear friend Monyat, where we talked and talked about work, mediocrity of some people around and of course Croatian pornographic thoughts *wink*. I ordered Chicken Piccata w/ garlic spaghetti , Monyat had her fave pesto grilled chicken. But the finale was the bomb, "THE" faith-defying Classic Banana split (PhP 140 = US$ 3) you should try it, the ice cream was uber-delicious, creaminess to perfection. Gusto ko nga dilaan yung plate nung may natirang konti!

Then last saturday, I went out with another pal Garrett, together with some folks. Of course Jolibee (aka Mono-sodium Glutamate cooked in 101 ways) is out of the picture. So we walked to the farther end of greenbelt 3 and found these:

Chicken Milanese (PhP 390 = US$ 8.50) and the Tartuffo (PhP 360 = US$ 8 / slice tangina one slice lang yun) I don't know if (and I Hope) it was really delicious, because I might have been sub-consciously convincing myself that it was really good because it's freakin' expensive! Buti na lang may free bread plate that they constantly refill, it's perfect with olive oil, Italian vinaigrette and Parmesan cheese.

LDL... LDL... LDL...
yes, Low Density Lipoprotein ... I can even smell it whenever I fart! So I'm expecting a myocardial infarction anytime within the next two hours.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

"I'm not a plastic bag"

I've been seeing this Anya Hindmarch "I'm not a Plastic Bag", everywhere. Apparently it's now officially a global phenomenon as it promotes environmental awareness by condemning the use of plastic bags blah blah blah yeah yeah whatever!. It will be reaching Asia in two week's time. Major cities like Tokyo, Hongkong, Singapore and Bangkok are expecting its arrival and so fashion termites are all queueing-up for advance orders. Syempre hindi kasama manila dun we're third-world, so expect a decoy in divisoria anytime soon.

Most girls I know says it's quite cheeky and with all the talk about banning plastic shopping bags it is fashionably swished. but I dont think asians will put durian or onions and raw chicken gizzards all juicing down inside this over-hyped sack.

Originally it damages around $10 - as it should be! That is why this bag has been selling like hotcakes. But now! it bids up to $270 on eBay. Ok, WHAT THE FUCK ARE Y'ALL THINKING?! ... are you fuckin' kiddin' me? who would've... 'nuff said!

OK... Fashion meets function meets the environment meets ass lickin' asian fashionistas all gone berserk! UNBELIEVABLE!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

elvis to n'sync

chekin' out youtube (aka. the new TV) and I randomly clicked-and-clicked on the video links, until I saw this weird (funny kinda' weird) intermission number presented by an inspirational youth speaker. At first, I thought it'll be just a So-SO kind of dance flick. but this Judson guy's one helluva sheep-fuckin' funny bubba!

the dolphin dive, running man, moonwalk, thriller, YMCA-moves, grease, saturday night fever, walk like an egyptian, chicken dance, THE wave, vanilla ice, crazy cowboy, the list goes on and on....nya har har yer yer

he's crazy

Friday, June 15, 2007

niños inocentes cum gremlins

I was rummaging through some old pictures in my photo folders, and after piles of porn flicks and other evidences of moral carnage, I unearthed this shots that I took two years ago on a Holy week inside the walled city...

Kung titingnan, talagan nakakaawa yung mga bata--frail, innocent, puppy eyed and the puss-in-boots' pa-awa expression. But honestly, this is not what I'm expecting to see in a historical place during the biggest Catholic celebration of the country. I'm expecting a bit more solemn yet colorful pageantry of colonial throwback and ecclesiastic artistry in motion.

Langya! . . . yun pala eh: alms begging, filthy drama and ugly showcase of poverty and economic mishap (read: SQUATTER) I'm sorry people but it is SOooo (take it superlatively) uninspiring. Not worth the basking under the spf-60 cracking heat of the mid summer sun of metro manila.

PHOTO CAPTION: akala nyo lang mukang nakakaawa mga batang yan, pero sa totoong buhay... masasakal mo sila sa leeg hangang lumabas ang utak nila sa mata, ilong at tenga.

Pucha! ayaw ako tantanan, hinihingi yung buco juice ko na pagka-mahal-mahal na parang pwede mo na ipang-down payment ang presyo sa utang ng pilipinas sa world bank!--"Hoy bata ano ka sinuswerte? mag aral ka mabuti para maka kuha ka ng disenteng trabaho at maka bili ka ng buco juice mo!" (with an evil-max-alvarado-ish inflection)

"sige na kuya, kahit limang piso lang" . . . aba at may minimum pa! bakit pag tatlong piso ba binigay ko hindi nya tatanggapin? pero sige, binigyan ko na ng ten peso coin . . .

"si kuya naman, parang buco juice lang e . . . mahal na araw naman ah! . . . (nung makalayo na ko) . . . KUYA TANG'NA MO!!!"

Thursday, June 14, 2007


"People are dying in some parts of Africa... "

Dear Santa (or genie in the lamp, or tooth fairy, or wishing star, or vicky morales),

I've been a good boy, (I can hear objections in the background..SHUT UP!) and I am not a buy-me-that-malignantly-expensive-toy kinda guttersnipe. But I want (need) the following:

That Nike bag – I got a tantamount of bags to my daily (cycled) lifestyle, but for some reason I want a new one. THIS ONE! Last week I saw this nike bag in Rustans and I can’t seem to take it of my head since then, I can even smell its manufacture scent in my dreams.

That Wicked book (by Gregory Maguire) – I even finished the

first few chapters by reading it off the shelf. BUT-I-GOT-TO-HAVE-A-CO-PY! (roar!).

Reading that book on a warm soft couch near a rain battered windowsill? over a cup of hot tea? while wearing a pair of ruby shoes?

… priceless! (oh wait, I don’t have-- a couch!)

That black and beach Crocs – dang! I saw this in Kuala Lumpur last march, I thought: “next time na lang, meron naman nyan sa Pinas”… E LECHE! When I got home--wala, ubos na, nada, wala na, zero, zip, out of stock… PAKAMATAY NA LANG KAYO LAHAT!! (but i think they have it now in rustans!)

That Topman Jeans –I know I'm not even near being a bloody fashion rat to pull a pathologically expensive brand like gucci cavalli and prada, and so i diverted my itch to that topaman jeans. I really want (need) it and I just want (need) to try having a non-bench, non-human, non-guess and non-divisoria pair of jeans! . . . (ok fine! meron din nun sa F&H , ok na rin sakin yun!)

That Seventh Book – D-d-D-do I really have to explain why?

damn! im such a blowhard egomaniac!
oh! do you want to see my ruby shoes? Click Away!

Monday, June 11, 2007

hafi indipindins day!

Bakit ba English ang universal language? E samantalang mas malaki population ng mga Chinese sa mundo.

Bakit nga ba natatawa tayong mga pinoy pag mali mali mag english mga kababayan natin? talaga bang nakakababa ng pagkatao at nakakasira ng pagka-nilalang kung hindi tayo magaling mag english?

HIndi naman siguro masama kung mag-tatagalog...
tingnan nyo to:

imported europeans? katakot, cannibalism!

sorry! di ko nabasa na NO ENTER!

past is past nga e!

so lets follows the rules, ok?

sad yung mini pencher

baka naman typo error lang kayo naman!

what a generous government!

meron din naman na R18...

here's more...

sa virthday ko gusto ko varvie

once is enough, twice is WAY too much

written by: manny pacquiao

your shit is dead dude!

for real?

pero meron din naman na pa cute lang talaga!


at dahil Philippine independence day, here's something historical!

bwahahaha! hihihi! Nyahahaha!

reminder lang po, ang mga hapon hindi magagaling mag english, pero maunlad parin ang bansa nila!

Saturday, June 9, 2007

deep fried childhood

Last week i visited my parents' (well, "our") house after almost two months of procrastination (my dogs didn't even recognize me, great!). And this time of the year, mommy's attending the Antipolo novena. I tell you folks, going to antipolo without bringing home the traditional pasalubongs? is like sex without "O"

So mommy baught me 2 dozens, it costs around PhP 180, but when I told her that I will pay for it... "ay, 500 yata yun" ... all of a sudden (classic!)

So there's my SUMAN, something that incessantly reminds me of my childhood. When I was young-ER, I remember finding inner peace and profound happiness everytime I unwrap my suman's spiral coconut leaf covering... So I went back home in manila with a bagfull of suman and it has been my breakfast, lunch and dinner for the past two days, and I'm still loving it.

Here's what I did: I deep fried it until it's crispy and golden brown. Not everyone knows that you can fry it, and that it will actually taste better that way. Imagine biting into crunchy coated suman and feel the sticky, chewey and warm inside as your teeth digs deeper in to it (uhhh, uber heaven!) enough to forget that ill feeling of throwing-up upon accidentally seeing kris aquino on TV.

But that's not all, antipolo's special suman has a strip of langka in its core, giving it a surprising summer-y aftertaste.

Here's the three different perfect partners of suman: ripe mangoes, thick hot chocolate and gata concoction (just try to figure it out) and the time-honored, SUGAR.

pinoys all over the globe : Drooooooooool!

Friday, June 8, 2007

eto lang maipapayo ko...

to those who'll be taking the June 2007 NLE:

1. mag pray, dont worry kaya ko kayo tutulungan dyan.

2. chillax, wag mag feeling na nag-a anxiety attack (inarte ka!)

3. wag masyado magpaka lunod sa butter balls (loko, heperglycemia)

4. alalahanin, na wala sa ipina-bless na mongol #2 ang swerte at HIMALA! ang himala ay nasa puso...!

5. pagka-tapos ng bawat exams, wag matakot kung parang lahat ng sinagutan mo e mali, aba natural, yung mga questions na hindi ka sigurado ang maaalala mo, kaya tigilan na ang pagko-compare ng sagot (mauubos load mo)

6. pwede mag baon ng snacks sa loob ng room. snack ha as in chocolates, sandwiches at gatorade, bawal ang tapsilog, sisig at bulalo!

7. at nakuha mo pang mag check ng internet, diba dapat nagrereview ka ngayon?

galingan nyo, kaya nyo yan!!!

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

etiology of of a call center agent

kung ka-edad mo ako at at pareho tayo ng estado ng buhay, malamang magkapareho tayo ng pananaw kung modern communication ang pag-uusapan.

kalimutan muna natin ang wifi, gprs, 3g at kung anu-anong tech stuff na nanlilimas ng bank account at payroll natin. bago nagsulputan ang mga ito, nabuhay nakuntento at napaligaya tayo ng domestic and mass telecommunication.

simulan natin nung 1990's, lahat ng teenager hindi na kilala ang mga magulang nila dahil pre-occupied sa TELEPONO. mura, payak pero umikot dito ang buhay ng mga bagets noon...

pag dating sa bahay telepono na agad ang tatabihan, walang bihis-bihis, walang ligo-ligo-- dial agad sa mga kabarkada na 15 mins pa lang hindi nagki-kitakita. dito mo mahahasa ang talas ng memorya, hindi uso ang phone book, kabisado mo lahat ng numbers ng ka klase, isama mo pa ang samut saring numbers ng party-line, radio hotline (request line) at ang pinaka sikat na AT&T105-15 (yung may mga kawawang operator na pinagti-tripan ng mga estudyanteng walang magawa sa free call na phone booth)

lalong naging masalimuot ang buhay ng mga nanay sa pagsaway sa kabataan sa pagtetelebabad nang lumabas ang call waiting function ng PLDT at ang Three way calling... uusok ang telepono at mamumula ang tenga mo dahil talaga namang nakakaaliw makipag-usap sa telepono lalo na kung walo kayo sa linya...

"hoy julius wag ka nga maingay di ko marinig kwento ni ebs!"

wala naman talagang makabuluhan ang pinag-uusapan ang magkakabarkada, minsan sa sobrang wala na kaming mapag-kwentuhan, sabaysabay na lang kami nanunuod ng marimar habang nasa telepono ... at kung minsan, nag-hihingahan na lang kami sa linya... at ibababa na lang pag inantok na...

call termination: yun pa ang isang nakakatawang bahagi nito... eto ang senaryo :

makalipas ang 2 oras na dead air...
"sige na good night na"
"oo nga bukas na natin ituloy"
"sige ibaba mo na.."
"mauna ka"
"hindi ikaw na... ako na nga tumawag e"
--makalipas ang walong taong negosasyon--
"sige na nga sabay na lang tayo"
"ok ... one.. two...three"

---dead air---

"o bakit di mo binaba?"
"kahapon ako na nagbaba e"

"o sige na nga"

(pagkababa...aangatin ulit ang receiver)
"o bakit nandyan ka pa?"

hay nako!!!

"tall peppermint mocha, for ron!"

libre naman ang kape sa office
masarap naman kape sa bahay
bottomless din brewed coffee sa gym
walang bayad ang kape sa hospital

then how come I still get my cup of caffeine from starbucks?


Tuesday, June 5, 2007

BOARD EXAM: part 2

(this is a repost from january '07)

Ang board exam, isang paraan para malaman kung handa ka na bang magnurse-nurse-san at maguumepal sa hospital...

libu-libong piso ang inilalaan para sa review...

pang starbucks...
pang bili ng pirated materials sa tapat ng PRC...
at pang xerox ng leakage...

at kamakailan nagsulputang parang kulugo ang mga negosyong review centers sa maynila... naging malaking gatasan ito ng mga matatalino (mauutak) na baklang nurses na pagka-galing-galing mang uto ng estudyante, sa pamamagitan ng pananakot na di sila papasa pag di sila nag enroll sa review centers nila, naging multi million peso industry ang modus operanding ito.

at dahil sa kanila, maraming nawalan ng kompyansa sa sarili na mag-take ng exam. idinikdik kasi nila sa isip namin na hindi daw sapat ang pinag-aralan namin nung college para ipasa ang laban sa PRC.

* * * * *

dumating ang examination day na hindi ako sigurado sa pinapasok kong gulo!

alas singko nag uamaga ako nagising... wala nang panahon para ma-feel ko na kinakabahan ako... wala din ako malalapitan or mayayapos para mag inarte at sabihin "hindi ko yata kaya" parang kahit isang tray ng balut ang kainin ko--manginginig parin ang tuhod ko sa kaba!

sa mga oras na yun, parang blangko ang utak ko at nag drop siguro sa 25 ang IQ score ko... naglaho ng apat na taon na pinag aralan na parang nag joke ang pagkakataon. pati yata normal value body temp di ko maalala! LAGOT!

***nagsimula at natapos ang exam***

isang punto yun ng buhay ko na ayoko na talaga balikan.

wala ako naalala, parang REPRESSION, unconscious forgetting of traumatic experience and selected events! or baka nagkaron lang ako ng temporary retrograde amnesia!

mahigit isang bwan bago lumabas ang results.. isang buwan na parang habang-buhay na paghihintay

imaginin mo yung isang buwan na di ka makatulog, at wala kang iba iniisip kundi ang itsura ng dyaryo kinabukasan... dumaan ang pasko at bagong taon na parang tulala ka sa kawalan at tuwing pipikit ka e DOH manual ang makikita mo. inaamin ko: ipinagdasal kong wag na lang sana lumabas ang result at makalimutan ng PRC na may nag-take ng December boards!

BOARD EXAM: part 1

Gaano ba kahirap makakuha ng lisensya bilang nurse sa pilipinas?


matapos mong aralin ang makakapal na libro ng anatomy, surgery at fundamentals; isapuso ang DOH book from cover to cover, not to mention ang pagmememorize ng samutsaring mikrobyo at sakit na di mo alam kung saan planeta nagmula.. tapos nun, papahirapan ka pa ng isang Grand FInale na itago natin sa tawag na ...


nakakatawa, nakakapagod, nakakaiyak at nakaka bula ng kilikili ang prosesong ito. kung inaakala mong natatapos sa graduation at pagsusuot ng toga ang kalbaryo mo... pwes nagkakamali ka. Dahil hindi pa yun ang tamang oras para isanla ng tatay mo ang ngipin nyang ginto at ipa-katay ng nanay mo ang pinakamamahal nyong baka.

Kinakailangan mong i-file sa PRC ang requirements, cases, papeles, birth certificate, clearances, transcripts, authentication of circumcision at marami pang iba.

pipila ka sa luma, amoy pawis, magulo at masalimuot na mundo ng PRC. Para itong concentration camp ng mga Nazi nung world war II.. si Hitler na lang ang kulang , kumpleto na ang cast.. At kahit gaano mo na-master ang mga pinag aralan mo sa loob ng ilan taon sa college, magugulo ang utak at pagkatao mo sa lugar na to, and by the time you step-out of the PRC exit gate... para kang na-reformat na PC .. TABULA RASA .. blangko!

pano ka pa papasa sa exam nyan!? (aNak ng Mongol pencil #1!)

sabi nila, one week before the exam dapat nagre-relax ka na lang.. hindi ganun sa kaso ko... since nagta trabaho ako, di ko kaya isacrifice ang ilang lingong sweldo, kaya 1 week before the exam--dun pa lang ako nag start mag review:

7 days to go: pakape-kape sa starbucks kunyaring nagbabasa ng Obstetrics

6 days to go: nafeel kong lahat ng kilala kong mag te-take madami nang alam at ako wala pa rin... pakshet!

5 days to go: umiikot na sikmura ko sa kaba, kaya sinusuyod ko na ang mga pages ng Fundamentals at psych

4 days to go: nagbubungkal ako sa tambakan, hinahanap mga lectures ko nung college, mas madali kasi intindihin yun.

3 days to go: maluha-luha kong binabasa ang DOH

2 days to go: inakyat ko and antipolo church, nag-alay ng itlog sa st claire, nag tirik ng kandila sa mt. carmel at baklaran, lumuhod sa quiapo, nag novena kay St. Jude, mataimtim na nalangin dun sa bagong simbahan sa macapagal... at tumingin ng Havaianas sa Mall of Asia

Night before the exam: NAGLASING MAG-ISA ANG LOLO MO!

(to be continued...)