BIRTHDAY BOO BOO'S

matutuwa ka ba kung tapos na ang 1/3 ng buhay mo?

"the average life-expectancy among filipino men is 79 years old" - NSO 2003

WHAAAA! ibig sabihin halos dalawang 27 years na lang ang itatagal ng katawang lupa ko! dalawang mabilis na 27 years... katakot! dapat gawin na lahat ng pwede gawin!

27 oct 15's na pinag daanan ko..
23 lang dun ang naaalala ko..
halos lahat dun umuulan .. baka daw may lahi akong engkato sabi nung classmante ko nung hi-skul

nung bata ako lagi ako excited mag bday, kasi may spaghetti, fried chicken, diluted orange juice, goldilocks cake na may nakasulat na "happy birthday ron-ron" pero mas malaki yung font size ng "FROM YOUR NINANG _____!"

pero habang tumatanda ka, di ka na mae-excite.. hihiritan ka kasing mag libre at magpainom, all of a sudden, lahat sila close friends mo! kaya mas gugustuhin ko na lang mag tago sa likod ng gasul buong maghapon!

dati, ang alam ko, ikaw ang iti-treat ng mga kaibigan pag birthday mo, hindi pala ganun, dahil may mga kaibigan, na nang-lilimas ng bulsa at walang pakundangang nagkakamal ng sweldo mo para i-refill ang bahay-alak at pakainin ang mga bulate nila sa tyan.. habang buong gabi ipinaaalala nila sayo na tumatanda ka na at at paubos na ng paubos ang natitira mong oras sa mundong ibabaw! ANG SAYA NO?! shet

sa loob ng 27 years, maraming kakaiba, nakakatuwa at nakakatawang regalo ang natanggap ko.. eto ang top 10:

10...photo album at picture frame, na may flower sa sulok (itaas ang kamay ng hindi nakatanggap nito!)

9....panyo, hindi to nawawala.. napaka 'unique' (bukod pa yung pag pasko)

8....snake and ladder, chessboard at yung gameboard na free sa ovaltine (effort!)

7....sand clock, errr!

6....avon na lotion (hindi ko alam kung aanuhin ko yun nung 10 years old ako)

5....last year's planner.. pero at least nagamit ko parin. scratch paper!

4....stickers... hindi voltron, hindi voltesV, hindi thunder cats at hindi transfomers ..HELLO KITTY!

3....cassette tape ni LALA AUNOR.. WHO THE... ni hindi ko nga alam kung pilipino nga ba yun

2....teks, isang bundle ng maliliit na cards na may mga eksena ng nardong putik at panday (1987)

AND THE TOP:

1....DIORAMA! eto yung science project nung elementary kami, yung naka lagay sa kahon ng sapatos na binalot ng plastic cover. May eksena sa loob gamit ang samut-saring toy figures na libre sa CHEESCARS (chichirya), isama mo na ang lupa at plastic na dahon ng xmas tree ... ang sweet diba? hindi ko naman masabing "OKEY KA LANG? E MAS MAGANDA PA NGA GAWA KO DITO E!" pero shempre di ko sasabihin yun, at least naalala nya ko!

nagkita ulit kami sa friendster nung classmate kong nagbigay nun, hindi na nya maalala na niregaluhan nya ako! or, baka nagdedeny lang!

itong taon na 'to hindi ko masyado naramdaman ang OCT 15, maraming nakaalala (SALAMAT SA INYO!) meron din naman na inaasahang maka-alala pero dedma.. mag isa lang ako maghapon, di kasi ako pumasok, magdamag din ako nanood ng shaider at bioman sa youtube.. tsaka natulog!

at syempre umuulan na naman. WHAT'S NEW?!

HAAAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

HABERDEY!

For 26 years the sky's always lamenting on the second week of October, that's YEAR-AFTER-YEAR-AFTER-YEAR, well probably it's just adjusting with my mood, you know ... birthday blues

I was thinking, how am I going to celebrate my birthday this year? well, not really celebrate-CELEBRATE because I'm not really the bloke who's extravagant towards anything or something egocentric, specially if I'm the one burning credit cards, I've never really tried having a huge bash just to remind everyone that I'm another year older... (pakshet!)... the last time a blew a candle was in 1987... GREAT i was just 2 years old then (whatevz)

So after two decades of spending a sad and lonely Oct 15's, I was thinking of doing it differently this time...

Perhaps I'll climb a mountain... Kota Kinabalu (the highest peak in south east asia!) is the perfect choice. Unfortunately, when I checked the mountain cabins, they're all packed. Apparently you have to do the reservation six months ahead of time. So maybe next year.

or... Getting lost outside Manila, ALONE. That would be quite an adventure, I will buy the next ticket bound to who-knows-where and Im going to spend the weekend alone trying to be a nomad with just a backpack and a heap of guts, pretendin Im a contestant of the Amazing Race. That would be so effing great...and expensive (dang!)

How about a Jolli-Birthday? yeah, as in Jolibee party complete with party hats, mascots and ketchup-y spaghetti. That was my dream party that was never realized, so I will make it happen this time. That would be F-U-N. All attendees will be grown-ups and we will be playing silly games like kids and make Hetty (the spaghetti mascot) dance a strip tease! WOoot-woow!

hmmm... That would be FFFFERFECT!

But for now, I know y'all been thinking of possible gifts (FOR ME OPKORS!) so fret no more, because here's my WISH LIST:

1. Jacket (preferably Nike)
2. pair of black socks
3. nike air turbulence (white)
4. lip balm (no fruity flavor please)
5. iPod nano (redesigned with video)
6. photoshop installer (pirated)
7. wooden rosary
8. signed photograph of manny paquiao
9. lacoste perfume (green)
10. a tray of ferrero rocher
11. a good massage
12. starbucks stainless tumbler
13. boxer shorts (small-medium)
14. havaianas (size 39-40)
15. moroccan mint tea bags (coffee bean & tea leaf)
16. a birthday card (with 1k pesos inside)
17. a beach towel
18. advil capsules/gel capsules
19. nike cap
20. WORLD PEACE!

Please coordinate, just to make sure na walang madodoble...
HAHAHAHA

Here Yeah!

Desperate Houswives Insults Filipinos

In the Premiere of Desperate Housewives Teri Hatcher made a remark about Filipinos. She was talking to her doctor and then she said

"Okay, before we go any further, can I check those diplomas? Coz I would just like to make sure they are not from some med school in the Philippines."

I dont know if I have the onion skin syndrome but

THIS IS SO WRONG!

GAGO BA SILA?!
That remark was unnecessary and the scriptwriter should have been a little careful. They bulldozed an entire workforce of Filipinos in the health care career. and teri hatcher is a popular figure, so she should also be responsible enough to refuse delivering such lines.

I hope that when they need medical care, they end up being taken cared of by a Filipino nurse

so calling all Filipino nurses and doctors in the US, whenever you encounter the name MARC CHERRY (he's the episode writer) Use the largest gauge of syringe and don't use any anesthesia (when necessary)

A group of Filipino Americans demands for apology
from ABC and Desperate Housewives writers
through a signature campaign!

SIGN UP HERE

ZAIDO and the galactic shit

I'm an open true -blue Shaider fanatic. This show has been responsible in making the building blocks of my formative years.


That's the reason why I'm so ecstatic when GMA decided to do a remake. Well, my excitement shrank into an indiscernible form of matter when I saw the premiere. The show turned out to be a cheap rip-off. A total eye sore:

Here's why:

- I agree with my friend Jun, I hate the costume especially the helmet, it's like a cheap-robocop-wannabe-cum-highschool-project went wrong.

- The plot wasn't really well thought of, they did not even explain HOW and WHY on earth did lei'ar came back from what should've been his inexorable death two decades ago.

- Shaider fought evil galactic forces during the 80's (in fact, that's the setting of the series) suddenly he has descendants? Gallian, played by Dennis Trillo, happens to be the grandson of Alexis (WTF?). I'm expecting that this should be atleast explained with some sort of mystical cosmic blackhole intervening the galaxy and .. uhmm.. whatevs!

- The special effects made me wanna puke in front of the TV, the 1980's version is far better. On top of that, the new Kuuma Lei'ar looks familiar... reminds me of ANAK NI JANICE!

- Alexis has a pretty side kick, named Annie. This time its Gallian and the sexy sidekick - AMY... mind you, they're both wearing yellow and their families were victims of the galactic war. WOW, a truly moronic television coincidence.

- And because its Filipino made (kapuso particularly) then expect that the story line is 5% action, 10% has a poverty-prinsipyo element and 85% love story, total of ... 100% CHEESINESS. I mean, the original did not even focus on the Annie-Alexis love flick. What are they trying to do?

I can't believe I withstood the 1 hour pilot episode, I almost had an epileptic attack. GMA is making the legend look trashy by literally shitting on it.
I just hope that there will be an Anti-ZAIDO rally soon blocking the senate building or marching across EDSA.


But there's one commendable thing. Paolo Ballesteros is sooooo pretty as Ida. I bet its a dream come true! (good thing they dropped the disco ball head dress)

GREY'S ANATOMY SEASON 4 : up and running

Finally... After the longest wait and what seemed to be like eons and light years of anticipation, the new seasons of TV shows are finally here, up to heat both my iPod and PC.

On top of it, GREY'S ANATOMY is back!!!
What will happen to these pack of adulterous medical people? (obviously I can relate... not just because I'm in this field, but also, I'm an adulterous bloke)

Last summer, the season finale left me hanging in the middle of nowhere and my jaw dangling loosely. so from that point, I'm like a cryoprecipitate waiting for an order, an absolution.

Until I saw this preview, and I'm like a little boy staring at my wrapped presents under the Christmas tree. While watching it, all my vessels were dilated and my cardiac contraction felt like it's in suspended animation, afferent nerve endings ceased functioning and neuron conduction's in split second delay.

WOW I just love how they pull that premiere...
Izzie, Meredith, Karev and the scrupulous Christina yang (my favorite character) delivered the ripped rules of Dr. Bailey from the first episode of the show (back when they are in the bottom of the medical food chain), this time it's their turn, and it is so amazing to see fresh new faces ... simply genius!

I AM SO effing EXCITED
SERIOUSLY!



You can download some of my favorite music from the series, for free.
CLICK AWAY!

green me

I have a goal to grab before I turn 30 and who told you I'm more than 30? fuck you! It's a long to do list I tell you, but here's a portion:

-have a wood laminated graduation picture (check!)
-get that PRC ID (check!)
-write a personal hate letter to willie revillame (check!)
-do a medical mission to a far flung community, at mag feeling turista (check!)
-for gawd sake! do something good to the environment (CHECK!)

YES, I just did!

Yesterday I went-out to do some tree planting eklat for the La Mesa Watershed. It might sound a bit pageant patty and little like a government official during the election season, but my intentions are genuine and environmentally altruistic. Also, I just want to do something different because "I... personally believe that we are unable to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don't have uh, I believe that our, I, education like such as, uhh, South Africa, and uh, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us...(???)... thank you!" (if you don't know what I'm talking about... click away)


I don't have a green thumb, everything that I planted on the soil died in just a matter of days. I remember having this science project in elementary where we have to grow Toge from mongo beans... after few days, all my classmates' canisters have something sprouting out of their lump of dirt. Mine? other than the nasty smell of what seemed to be like a rotten kamote, got nothing on it. (I don't know if someone played a prank on me)

Since then, I never attempted growing anything green.

But when you reach my age (20 something), you will eventually come realize that life is more than just about yourself, you have a social responsibility. With an equivocal threat of global warming, you will then find-out that you can help and you should do your part in saving our niche.

So enough of being a health freak, stop eating green leafy veggies, your hurting them, listen closely... you will hear them cry whenever you eat Caesar salad!

SEPTEMBER 3, 2007


ako: pucha! malayo pa ba? tangna... tatlong kilometro na yun a!
ako (isip) : ok lang mag lakad... pero di ok pag nasira sapatos ko!
ako: tree planting ba to o alay lakad?
AKO DIN: DAMI MO ANGAL
ako: e kasi naman o...


forester : deforestation is a social issue ....
ako : deforestation your face, wala ba makakainan dito?
AKO DIN : SHHHH!
forester : you will be planting a banaba tree
ako : ano yun? as in banaba? diuretic alternative to edematous or suspected cardiac congestion? Lagerstroemia speciosa aka Giant Crape-myrtle or Queen's Crape-myrtle? endemic to south east Asian forest like of Thailand, India, Indonesia, Philippines and some parts of eastern India?
AKO DIN : AVER ... WINNER!
ako : wala bang maple or ebony?

ako : teka picture muna
--after 34 mins--
ako : last picture na peksman!
AKO DIN : GRABE, 30 SECONDS OF PLANTING, 30MINS OF PICTORIAL

--uwian na--
ako : mag pahuli kaya ako? para may moment
AKO DIN : WAG BAKA MAY NPA
ako : OA mo ha


--after 45mins of walking--
ako : shyet! parang di tayo dumaan dito kanina a!
ako : uhhm, guys? nasan na kayo?
AKO DIN : PATAY! LAGOT NA!


to see more of my tree planting-eklat photos click away!

for more info on how you can help save our forest, please contact BANTAY KALIKASAN at 1-800-527-2820 (foundation@abs-cbni.com) or contact the La Mesa Ecopark at 410 9670

If you think this is just a piece of shit, then go home nibble on your toe nails and wait until you die a miserable death of indifference!

the coconutter

I am a nurse, and all I want to do is to escape this mediocre life, I am always thinking that I am a victim of random fate when I was born, Why here? why not timbuktu or some hillbilly island in the mid atlantic? While checking other blogs, I stumbled upon this person, a modern-day filipino nomad.

then a cold wind of realization punch me right smack in the middle of my face. realization that what I'm thinking was shameful uber shameful.

this guy's so amazing and his story is so inspiring, and I thought of sharing them with you:

He's David Poarch
22 years old
High School Valedictorian
Ivy League Scholar
Mensa International Qualified
Triple degree student
NASA Employee
Half Filipino
Good looking

what else can you ask? WTF he got everything, but guess what ... he's back in the Philippines to live a provincial life.. pure nuts! If I got those credentials? I am probably showing my ass off the window for public viewing.



For all my readers who can understand the third world language, watch his story here

part 1


part 2


The Coconuter could either be someone who has a sincere and a noble purpose, OR he's just a genius turned bonkers. Nevertheless, I'm effing inspired by this bloke--he could have a birthmark in his butt saying "Ideal Pinoy" ... I hope they make a David Poarch action figure!

but I'm still leaving the country!

bahay kubo : translated

earlier this morning, I overheard my co-workers singing a familiar hymn, but the lyrics were undecipherable... apparently they're reading the lyrics from a pinoy web site

hilarious...

BAHAY KUBO GAY VERSION

Valer kuberch, kahit jutay
Ang julamantrax donchi ay anek-anek.
Nyongkamas at nutring, nyogarilyas at kipay
Nyitaw, nyotaw, jutani.
Kundol, jutola, jupot jolabastrax
At mega join-join pa, jobanox nyustasa.
Nyubuyax, nyomatis, nyowang at luyax
And around the keme ay fullness ng linga.

*rofl*

Marry Me Marie

NO she's not Kc Concepcion and she's making Kristin Kreuk and Riyo Mori feel so ugly.
She's Marie (ma-ree-yay) Digby
She's half Japanese half ... uhmmm ... Goddess!
I saw her on youtube, apparently she's playing it big on the net.
And then she was discovered by radio stations and her single is now available on iTunes...

Wow! I was bewitched by her diaphanous features and pure talent! HOTNESS!
she's covering different songs and making the original artist look crappy.



here's a Marie original, this composition is a tribute to her favorite TV character, Betty. luv'it!

Outwitting, Outplaying, Out GAY-ing China!

YEY! survivor season is here once again. And they're hitting mainland China this time, I heard they will be sewing-up shirts for export, locked inside a poultry farm with bird flu infected chicken and nibble on lead-intoxicating toys, last man standing shall win immunity! (hahahaha)

here's something not mentioned in the clip: the cast includes a gay Mormon, a former beauty queen (from a pageant held in the Philippines), a playboy bitch, a second degree female black belter, a male underwear model, Madonna's former backup dancer and a guy who believes that the Spice Girls reunion is the most significant historical event of the past 100 years (why not)

no doubt, they will definitely outwit, outplay, out gay each other in the end! HAHAHA

black is back

If you're having a hard time looking for a kris kringle pick for "something black" ... fret no more, here's an alternative and unique suggestions:

black salt... it may look like a sort of a wound scab scrapings but that'll work as mangang hilaw partner!

We have red, they got black eggs ... ours are salted, theirs are maggoty (im kidding) don't really know what's in there... triple horned gray back dragon embryo maybe?


black native pigs from planet whocareswhere. if spidey got venom, homer's spider pig got these folks (spider pig, spider pig... does whatever a spider pig does--look ouuuuuuut)

Black tissue paper ... at least dung wipes wouldn't look nasty anymore


black cotton buds ... so that you would know if you already picked a portion of your brain, genius!

for shiny whiter teeth, use Black tooth paste! (sure!)



Just in case you want to pretend you're a black hung-man. or maybe you'd like to hide something in the dark.

but here's something more special:


It's not what you think it is, it's not olives with caviar. It may look like a ground smoker's lung, but its edible at least for some mexicans they even consider it a delicacy, Cuitlacoche is a black fungus that infects corn fields, making the kernels bulbous and swollen as they fill with spores. It also goes by the name Huitlacoche. If you're having trouble with the pronounciation, it's: Cuitlacoche (kweet-lah-KOH-chay) or Huitlacoche (dat-sfuckin-NAS-tee).

Yes you can buy it in groceries (just don't know where, and i don't care really), it's like a disease in can. These infected corn is chewy, textured and tasteful, just imagine biting on a plump acne poop! total pus-sy experience, YUMMY!

Post Hogwarts : Unpublished

I'm currently juggling my time with exams, training, work, paper processing and being a super hero all in one hand the other hand's doing something else. And yet I still manage to read that 7th Rowling book.

It's really a concoction of awes and disappointments, amazement and w-w-w-wait! I read the last three chapters twice already and still loving it. I know for a fact that this is the culmination of the 7 books and 8 years of following the magic and so I'm allowing every single letter of those pages consume me for a moment. OK, now I sound like an over acting high school girl

After the last page, I know a lot of readers' asses are itching to know what happened to the major characters, the epilogue is too short to discuss the details of the years that were bypassed and a lot of things might have happened to them, where did they go? what have they become?

so here's a treat:


WARNING: spoilers galore ahead, if you're still reading the book, then you should stop right here, or you'll find out the ending ... that harry died!

JK Rowling told fans what she thinks happened to many of the book's characters after the final installment. In a 90-minute live Web chat, she fielded some of the approximately 120,000 questions submitted by devotees. It was her first public comment since "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows"

So here's some interesting unpublished details of the ending:

Harry Potter, who always voiced a desire to become an Auror, or someone who fights dark wizards, was named head of the Auror Department under the new wizarding government headed by his friend and ally, Kingsley Shacklebolt. Harry gives occasional lectures to DADA classes at Hogwarts

His wife, Ginny Weasley, stuck with her athletic career, playing for the Holyhead Harpies, the all-female Quidditch team. Eventually, Ginny left the team to raise their three children -- James, Albus Severus and Lily -- while writing as the senior Quidditch correspondent for the wizarding newspaper, the Daily Prophet.

Harry's best friend Ron Weasley joined his brother, George, as a partner at their successful joke shop, Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. He also work with Harry as an Auror.

Hermione Granger, Ron's wife, works for the Ministry and is "pretty high up" in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement and has ensured the eradication of oppressive, pro pure-blood laws, although she began her post-Hogwarts career by working in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, where she is instrumental in greatly improving life for house-elves and their ilk. She has helped in revamping the Ministry. The couple had two children -- Rose and Hugo.

Luna Lovegood, Harry's airily distracted friend with a love for imaginary animals becomes a famous wizarding naturalist Luna discovered many new species of animals and became quite famous for it, though she concluded that crumple-horned snorkacks don't actually exist. She ended up marrying Rolf the grandson of Newt Scamander, author of "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them."

Neville Longbotton has joined the faculty of Pomona Sprout and now also a professor teaching Herbology in Hogwarts. With Professor Minerva McGonagall now as the head mistress.

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley has received a total of at least eight grandchildren from the marriages of Bill and Fleur (their eldest is called Victoire, necessitating that they have at least one other child), of Harry and Ginny (Three) and of Hermione and Ron (Two). George has a son named Fred, named in honour of his late twin. Percy later becomes a high-ranking officer under Kingsley Shacklebolt's administration. Charlie became a specialist in Dragons Taxonomy Studies in Romania.

Hagrid is still living on the cottage near the forbidden forest, he's been a teacher for Care of Magical Creatures and an adviser for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures in the Ministry.

Draco Malfoy, rumored to have Married a Half-blood and had a son named Scorpius, He's relationship with Harry is not really like "the one you sit for a bottle of fire whiskey" but they're in relatively good terms, and its an open secret.

Krum eventually finds love in his native Bulgaria.

Harry and Dudley had meet again. Dudley is muscular rather than obese he has kept his interest in boxing.

Cho Chang became the counselor and adviser of the D.A. in and out of Hogwarts.

Parvati Patil married Dean Thomas

Seamus Finiggan runs the Kenmare Kestrels, a Quidditch sporting business in Ireland

Ernie McMillan is currently traveling across the globe doing research on tropical ingredients for potions.

Katie Bell is coaching for Scottish Quidditch team

Lavander Brown together with Padma Patil runs a shop in Diagon Alley specializing in Divination, Prophecy and Runes

Oliver Wood, Following his graduation from Hogwarts he signed on as Keeper for the Puddlemere United Quidditch team.

Lee Jordan became a Newscaster after his participation as an anti-Ministry of Magic pirate radio station entitled Potterwatch during the rebellion, He eventually married Angelina Johnson, Hogwarts new Quidditch Coach.

Rowling said she may eventually reveal more details in a Harry Potter encyclopedia, but even then, it will never be enough to satisfy the most ardent of her fans. She's dealing with a level of obsession in some of her fans that will not rest until they know the actual length of Harry's ... new wand!

BAHA : random thoughts!

after more than a month of dry spell and unusually hot monsoon season, the rain cloud has finally arrived. 2 days ago I came home from work and it's still dark, when finally it's drizzling outside... and before i knew it, it's a down pour.. ika nga ni lelay "it's raining cats and goats!"

It's been raining for two days now. So bring out the good books and hot mug of swissmiss, curl-up beside a rain battered window panel wearing your favorite pair o' socks, look down on the flooded streets and say: "mga hampas-lupa! bwahahahaha" (with a celia rodrigues infliction).

I'm not in the right blogging mood, I just want to play dead in bed. So I'll just re-post a blog from last year. This is also a perfect time to cuddle in bed and commit adultery!

-----------------

Lumaki ako sa isang lugar na konting ulan .. bumabaha.. nagtataka nga ako kung bakit di ako tinubuan ng kaliskis at palikpik gayong umiikot ang formative years ko sa baha.. kasabay ko lumaki ang mga Escherichia coli at leptospira interrogans na main-stay sa barangay namin...

sa baha ako nakapag laro ng bangkang gawa sa de gomang tsinelas, manghuli ng dalag, karera ng bangkang papel, mamingwit ng samutsaring basura (mula sa plastic bag hanggang sanitary napkin) at sa maniwala kayo at sa hindi.. doon din ako natuto lumangoy.. hindi ko nga alam kung bakit buhay pa ko.

wala nang sasarap pa sa isang lunes ng umagang malamig at madilim, nakakatamad pumasok dahil umuulan.. tapos biglang i-a announce: all levels CLASSES SUSPENDED ... YESSS! sabay balik sa kama.. tuloy ang tulog.

at wala parin tatalo sa almusal na sinangag, tuyo, kamatis at bagoong.. dagdagan pa ng mainit na kape.. di uso starbucks.. solve na sa kape puro at blend 45 (FYI: wala nang blend 45 sa market ngayon dahil binili na ng rustans para mag supply ng coffee beans sa starbucks)

nung winasak ng bagyong katrina ang new orleans last year.. napanood ko na delubyo ang naidulot nito sa mga nasalantang lugar.. at kakaibang ka-dramahan ang ipinamalas ng mga kano.. akalain mong may umiiyak, may hinihimatay dahil sa anxety attack, may mga nagpapanic at halos mabaliw sa pagwawala.. samantalang ang baha e hangang tuhod lang .. OK LANG SILA?!

HELLO! normal yan dito, kung ang mga kano akala mo ili-lethal injection kung mag drama pag may baha.. e ang mga pinoy, lalo na ang mga bata, mas nageenjoy pa. sa baha kasi nahahasa ang creativity at survival skills ng karamihan sa aming mga pinoy. pagkakataon na rin ito para may excuse na mag-pakabulok sa kama ang mga tamad at rumaket ang mga sukag at gahaman sa pera!

eto ilan sa mga tried and tested raket:

- improvised float vessel gawa sa styro ..... P30 / sakay

- stepping stone / tulay ... kahit magkano (wag lang bababa sa P2) / tawid

- linis windshield (tubig galing sa kanal o baha) ... pag bumaba sa P5 - kumaripas ka na!

- tricycle na triple presyo sa taxi

naaalala ko tuloy nung bata ako, nadidissapoint ako pag bumababa na ang tubig baha... Kung sa ibang bansa CALAMITY ang baha .. sa pilipinas, HOLIDAY!

[photo caption: aug 2004, espana, infront of UST hi-way po ito, jetski for rent 200/hour available at piy margal st.]

boredom = faggotry

who says prisons are boring?

while other prisons' are overflowing with bravado and beefcake, the 1,500+ inmates of Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center are doing Michael Jackson.

I saw a foreign indie film few years back about a ballet dancer who painstakingly taught a group of hardcore weed smokin' gang to leap, pas de deux and pirouette on their toes. Of course, the movie ends up with a bam-bam-tear-jerky-bow-moment. The third world has a fair share of these cheesiness festival, and its happening inside a notorious facility, I mean it is so cheesy I'm having lactose intolerance.

Though I must say, I was amazed by the fact that instead of cell riot and vandalizing their skin with senseless graffiti like "I LOVE BEKYA" "Punks not dead!" and "papa canton ako" ... these people has creatively formulated an alternative activity to kill boredom. There has been activities in the past like livelihood programs, arts and crafts, cross stitching sessions and bible study where they can divert their energy and time. But these folks are doing something out of the box--Synchronized dancing. They've been practicing everyday and they will be shot on the head if they don't participate (OK I'm exaggerating)



now here's an encore televised in one of those popular morning shows


dang! they are so popular now in youtube! and I won't be surprised to find out that they are now rehearsing for their Pussycat Dolls repertoire!

Fine, so everyone's turning gay now?

philippine drollery in pictures

Here's the second installment of the posters and signs you can actually see around the fabuloous third world, well I'm not posting these because I want to give the country some serious embarrassment, but ... it's just irresistibly funny.

walking around here is indeed one funny trek, so bring with you your digicam and click away, beacause we are one huge gag show here. although malacañang, senate and the congress is the TRUE seat of comedy, not to mention the side circus and freak show.
















silence daw gentlemenS! napapakanta nga ako ng quiet night, ho-oly night...
















Holy sh**! so pag holy week daw up-to-sawa?





















with all the ballons and anahaw..
its really an AMEZING float





















I betcha' this will be a topic of CANVERSation










uhhhm, Paki konek!

















sopsop to the left, Jerk'o to the right.
either way you'll be having a goooood time!"












cream vented what?!!
yeah and its a bird! great














in this resort, the sand is white.. and its a beautiful BIACH!


















Like PLAT iron? PLAT chested? PLAT tire?





















hmmm. no thanks, i have my wnad with me
(hindi naman kasi ako nagmamadali, katakot)
















Interpreter please!





















JIUCE ko 'day! Kalowka!
















Hahaha, this is hilarious I SUER!
at may PRIZE san ka pa?!
















what the hell is DO-DINE?
napaka inefficient ng webster at wikipedia, hindi alam ang entry na ito!
















Mr Bboy Alulod, mali po yata spelling ng washing machine!


don't get me wrong, I also believe that these doesn't measure a country's sovereignty, and peoples ability to rise up to success ... hmmm whatever!

for more of these, see funny posters part 1 ... click away!

itik-itik no more

We all know that we Flips are superior, talent wise ang kumontra magsasara pwet!. Other than the boxing arena and Broadway stage, WE ARE CARVING THE PHILIPPINE FLAG ON THE HIP HOP DANCE FLOOR!

last year a group of disco-hopping, limbs-flexin' pinoys made the "filipino talent" reverberate in the global hip hop scene. THE ALL STARS is a Philippine based Hip hop dance group incorporating freestyle, pop, break dance, krump, old school and new school in their routines.

Under their belt are two international titles: Grand prize winners of the 5th World Hip Hop Championships in Redondo Beach, California (July 2006) and 2nd International Hip Hop Open D’Italia in Torino, Italy (June 2006). And NOW as is write this one up, they are defending the title in Los Angeles by bumping off contingents from 33 other countries. I won't be surprised if we will be celebrating soon!

Two years ago the group of hodgepodge is struggling to get support from people and institution that will finance their travel expenses to compete in the championship abroad. Today, All Stars has been backed up by different groups and individuals who believe in their talents—the Department of Tourism, Adidas, Brewing Point, Rotary Club of Araneta, Gold’s Gym, Gringo Honasan, Miguel Zubiri, Edgardo Angara, Bong Revilla, Chiz Escudero, Lino Cayetano, Kiko Pangilinan, Robby Carmona, Tim Yap and Divine Lee.

As I was watching this bootleg clip from last year's championship, I'm literally cursing myself for not attending those summer dance lessons, and when I saw those non-pinoy fans bellowing "PHI-LIP-PINES" out of the audience, I can't help but choke a lump out of amazement. These guys can really move, true enough we've gone a looooong way since itik-itik and maglalatik.

here's another clip, I got goosebumps when they played the Flips National anthem! GO ALL STARS!!!

You think Filipinos are Honest?

After hearing / reading / seeing bad news about our country, one blow after another, it is really dismaying and making me feel that I'd rather be a lone plankton floating on the waters of a humble hill billy islet somewhere in the pacific, than be a Filipino.

But not after I came across this report on HONESTY (an experiment conducted by Readers Digest), for once I felt pride gleaming off my brown a**!

In the survey, investigators left phones in public places then rang them to see if passers-by would try to return the phones or simply keep them. And guess what folks--we ranked 5th among the most honest cities. choir of angels singing from afar


The experiment was conducted in 32 major cities, well we're not really major "major", but... I guess they just want to put a third world flavor to the flick (you know what I'm saying)

Apparently the most honest city was Ljubljana in Slovenia where all but one phone was returned, followed by Toronto in Canada, Seoul in South Korea, Stockholm in Sweden and yes our very own MANILA (where crime is a staple gag, and the stench literally screaming--THIRD WORLD!!! no, you should deliver it with a smile...AGAIN)

We're on the fifth spot along side with Mumbai and NY! can you freakin' believe that? well, you should... behind all the self proclaimed adversities, awful reputation and bad publicities, we still manage to prove the world THAT WE AIN'T SETTLING FOR A 5110 HANDSETS!!! hahahaha the phone's actually brand new and on the mid-priced line.

So, we're not really the No.1 most honest, yes there were still some who badly needed an answer to their prayers of "grace falling from the sky" and that's why they took away the phone. But thanks to those Random Pinoys who made the right act of returning those phones and made the whole country proud once more!

click away for the complete list!
and thanks to Dazed and Confused for the good news

SONA : take seven... Aaaaac-tion!!!

I'm really not a political rat, I'd rather be a takatak boy that be in a career that has something to do with politics, economics, law and circus! That's why my opinion here are purely personal and nothing to do with a pursuance of a political agenda, rebellion and terrorism whatsoever!

together with the 40% of the population of this side of the third world June 2007, SWS survey I don't want to stay any longer, in dire need of moving-out to have a better life!

watching the SONA is like liberally putting rock salt in an open wound of despising this country's government. So what's going on in my head while watching the SONA? here:

GMA: Hangarin kong mapabilang ang Pilipinas sa mayayamang bansa sa loob
ng dalawampung taon ... I envision Philippines as first world in 20 years.
ME : HAHAHAHA, like me being blond and blue eyed caucasian hunk in 20 years! SURE!

GMA: investments in physical, intellectual, legal and security infrastructure to increase business confidence. Imprastraktura para sa negosyo at trabaho. Isang milyong trabaho taon-taon.
ME: 1 Million jobs? with salary of 20 thousand divided to those 1 Million new jobs? bright thinking! how about increasing the salary too?

GMA: Mahusay na edukasyon ang pinakamabuting pamana natin sa ating mga anak
ME: blah blah blah! aanhin mo ang "good education" kung wala naman matinong trabaho after graduation? I'd rather receive cold cheque from my parents!

GMA: Let's start with election reform. We have long provided funds for computerization. We look forward to the modernization of voting, counting and canvassing.
ME: (ROFL!)


GMA: Taun-taon dose-dosenang opisyal ang nasususpinde, napapatalsik o kinakasuhan dahil labis-labis sa suweldo ang gastos at ari-arian nila.
ME: then what the hell are you doing there? ... 'nuff said

GMA: gurong mas magaling at mas malaki ang kita
ME: mas magaling? wala nasa US na lahat... mas malaki kita? saan, sa longanisa? WAHAHA

GMA: Graft won't be eliminated overnight but we are making progress.
ME: heard that before!

GMA: “We have been investing hundreds of billions in human and physical infrastructure,”
ME: I heard... but where are the good filipino nurses and doctors? GONE!

GMA: Tapos na ang halalan at pamumulitika
ME: are you kiding me? 50% of your SONA is virtually names of your friendsters!

GMA: enumerate what the doables are this year towards making the country more competitive and more attractive for investors
ME: hmmm, like continue exploiting our wealth of wonders and selling islands to foreign Richie Rich's ? (SPELL: AMANPULO?)

GMA: cover the subject of waging peace in Mindanao
ME: why not start in your own congress?

GMA: a weak economy into a strong republic
ME: like Paris Hilton receiving a Nobel for discovering new species of microorganism?

BUNYE: the President herself writes and rewrites her Sona in her laptop computer and the final version is completed only a few minutes before she boards her vehicle to Congress.
ME: that's what you think, maybe she's just posting a bulletin on her friendster!

nyahahaha! HAHAHAHR! Whehehehehe
opinion lang po, walang personalan!

for the complete 2007 SONA transcript... click away!

tatay's birthday and baby francis

Click on the photos to view larger image