Thursday, August 16, 2007

black is back

If you're having a hard time looking for a kris kringle pick for "something black" ... fret no more, here's an alternative and unique suggestions:

black salt... it may look like a sort of a wound scab scrapings but that'll work as mangang hilaw partner!

We have red, they got black eggs ... ours are salted, theirs are maggoty (im kidding) don't really know what's in there... triple horned gray back dragon embryo maybe?

black native pigs from planet whocareswhere. if spidey got venom, homer's spider pig got these folks (spider pig, spider pig... does whatever a spider pig does--look ouuuuuuut)

Black tissue paper ... at least dung wipes wouldn't look nasty anymore

black cotton buds ... so that you would know if you already picked a portion of your brain, genius!

for shiny whiter teeth, use Black tooth paste! (sure!)

Just in case you want to pretend you're a black hung-man. or maybe you'd like to hide something in the dark.

but here's something more special:

It's not what you think it is, it's not olives with caviar. It may look like a ground smoker's lung, but its edible at least for some mexicans they even consider it a delicacy, Cuitlacoche is a black fungus that infects corn fields, making the kernels bulbous and swollen as they fill with spores. It also goes by the name Huitlacoche. If you're having trouble with the pronounciation, it's: Cuitlacoche (kweet-lah-KOH-chay) or Huitlacoche (dat-sfuckin-NAS-tee).

Yes you can buy it in groceries (just don't know where, and i don't care really), it's like a disease in can. These infected corn is chewy, textured and tasteful, just imagine biting on a plump acne poop! total pus-sy experience, YUMMY!


herb said...

i've actually considered buying the black cotton buds at the grocery store... hmmm...

ron cruz said...

yeah ako din, kaso wala pa ata pinas, diba nasa japan ka?